UPDATED: Boston fans are from Virginia?

Typed in bandwagon red sox in google and got this.

Typed in bandwagon red sox in google and got this.

Seeing as how we’re starting a series with possibly the most hated team in the AL East, we put a poll up to pin-point the exact location of the plague…Alaska!?

Anyway, as I write this, we’re already down 1-0 so I decided to make a post so people could leave their comments about:

  • Why they think the majority of Sox fans don’t live in Boston.
  • All around venting on why you hate the Red Sox.

As a bonus, if we get over 100 votes (for the first twenty-seventh time in ESH history) I’ll post an amusing anecdote about a run-in I had with a Boston fan on the way to the park.  Trust me, it’s funny.

So everyone vote, leave a comment, and if you can…get to the park and heckle a Red Sox fan.

The best way to heckle a Sox fan is to ask where they’re from.  If they say Boston, ask to see ID.  If they say Virginia, (they likely will) brace yourself for a story about how they like the Sox ’cause their grandfather grew up in Boston or their niece went to BU.  Then, tell them they’re lame.  Some of the crew will leave tips in the comments section so you can get other ideas on how to stick it to the Sox douche bags.

~Kevin Lomax

UPDATE:  as of July 1, we have officially…18 votes.  Are you kidding?  We had 50 on the first poll!  Do whatever it takes but we need to get 100 votes.  If you need to post it on OH or all your blogs, do it!  If we get 100 votes, not only will I share my sox fan story, but I’ll give out 5 of our first edition shirts when they are ready on the merch page (chosen at random from the comments page).

Vote or cry die!

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21 Comments

Filed under General Posts

21 responses to “UPDATED: Boston fans are from Virginia?

  1. You could always ask them about big moments in Red Sox history o\pre-2004. Like, with the Sox on the brink of elimination in the 2003 ALDs, who hit a 2-run pinch hit homer in extra innings to defeat the Athleitcs in Game 3? Or even “Who was the second baseman for the ’04 World Champs?” Or ” Who is Brian Daubach?”.

    Bet they don’t know…

    • Somehow I think it is a combination of the mother ship in Bristol, Ct and Ken Burns Baseball. For all those years, the Red Sox became a great story, and hell, it was easy to jump on the bandwagon. They were trying to dethrone the Yankees for crying out loud.

      But this has become ridiculous…. I was in Washington last week and it was obnoxious listening the place go wild after a Papi HR. Show some respect for the home team.

      And yes, I will probably be pissed off as I sit in Camden Yards tonight. Maybe I should just enjoy life in Bowie.

  2. oriolesmagic

    Hell, just say, “Man, I really love baseball in general and can you believe that this year we may have the first Triple Crown winner in a long time (Pujols, btw). Do you know who the last one was? Oh, you don’t? It was Carl Yazstremski. He played left field for Boston.”

    Not knowing Yaz was the last TC is like an O’s fan not know who Jim Palmer was.

  3. SoxFanInHiding

    With the Sox in DC and Balmer over the last week, I have had several conversations about my favorite team. I’ve been asked to go to 3 games so far, and I’ve declined with a polite “I’m boycotting.” (Let me explain).

    I have started to agree with ESH that lots of Sox fans are actually from around the Delmarva area. Real Bostonians don’t have time to travel to DC on a Tuesday to get “cheaper tickets.” They are doing what they normally do on Tuesdays–WORKING!! I don’t believe 40,000 Bostonians are on summer break in DC (of all places)…

    As a result I feel as though my fandom has been belittled. I know that Trot hit the homer in the ’03 ALDS (was there), I know Mark Belhorn was the 2B in ’04 (i could tell you the exact combination of chewing tobaccos he used), and I know who Daubach was (THE MAN, albeit the ugliest ballplayer in history)…And the list goes on…

    During the Cursed years, the Sox became the lovable losers and I think somehow people identified with them. But there are other fans that bother me. For example, a Rockville resident recently told me “I’m the biggest Sox fan…my brother plays football for Harvard and we go visit him all the time and we’re wicked huge fans!” Really?? So not only do you have nothing to cheer about in Rockville, but you try to talk like a Bostonian by saying “wicked”????

    Thus the boycott…

    Don’t get me STAHTED!!!

    • well thanks there sir. i’m glad that the bandwagon fans have annoyed even a legitimate boston fan. we think you are swell for that.

      if i were you, i’d burn all your red sox gear. spare nothing. even pictures where your wife is wearing a hat and smiling so pretty as she sits next to you. burn it. if you, for some odd reason, happened to have a world series ring, pawn it. if you happened to be in a movie featuring a love story that centered around an obsessed red sox fan and his girlfriend (who hasn’t been sweet since ET), never watch it again and make it your life goal to get the studio to re-edit it and re-release it with all O’s references.

      it’s the right thing to do.

  4. Johnny Mnemonic

    Your team spends three times as much money as mine and theres some kind of mystery why you’re ahead of us in the standings? You’re gonna come into my stadium and goad me into screaming at you because you’re pretentious enough to try to start a ‘lets go gay sox’ chant? Keep up your boycott and tell your friends to stop acting like wicked douchebags or stay the hell out of my stadium! Also, go to hell because your team can waste $170,000,000 on a Japanese retard who isn’t even good enough to make the starting rotation and a gimpy right fielder. Then your homo third baseman leans into an inside fastball in the 9th tuesday night – Sherrill should have hit him on the chin instead! Did I mention I hate the Red Sox?

  5. SoxFanInHiding

    my point before was that I used to think I was unique being a sox fan in baltimore, but came to realize that I’m not and have grown spiteful of all the d-bag, chant-starting queers who TRY and represent. So as I read your response I thought “Yup, yup, agreed, yup, excellent notion sir…” No argument there.

    BUT, since this is a blog and blogs are made for arguing, let me take a stand…

    Yes, the sox have the dough to spend and yes, they spend it. But doesn’t this show that the ownership cares enough to spend money to put together a good team, thus being competitive and keeping fans interested? I think that deep down inside of you, JOHNNY, you’re just hurt that your owner (is it Jack McCoy?) doesn’t care that much about YOU the O’s fan.

    And no, there’s no mystery about why we’re ahead in the standings. Sorry.

  6. Johnny Mnemonic

    The fact of the matter is that for every dice-k and JD Drew over the last ten years there have been two albert belles, sammys sosas, kris bensons, and jay gibbonses. One team has simply been managed better than the other and the current climate no longer recognizes the fact that the Orioles were far better for the preceding 40+ years.

    Going forward the Orioles will be back above .500 next year with one of the cheapest, youngest, and most talented teams in the league. O’s fans are going to have to continue to take it up the tailpipe for the time being, and nothing I can say will change that (not for lack of trying). All things considered, its going to be great, probably next year, maybe the year after sending out a few of these fairweather douchebags on a stretcher with their papelboners chopped off.

    My question to you is: will you fall off the bandwagon too?

    • You sound like you have a little bit of an anger issue, therefore you’re Tucker Carlson…let’s see what Paul Begala has to say…

    • SoxFanInHiding sounds like he’s the real deal. I lived in Maine from 1999-2004 and most Sox fans I knew up there were true blue.

      And yes, the Sox can take on extra payroll but they’ve been a nice balance of free agents and internal talent. Youkilis, Pedroia, Ellsbury, Lester and Papelbon were all home grown. Bay, Varitek, Beckett and Lowell were all acquired via trade. Wakefield and Ortiz were picked up off the scrap heap. They’ve spent the cash but done it wisely and made some shrewd moves along the way…just to be fair.

  7. SoxFanInHiding

    Johnny, why in the hell would you bring up these guys to compare to JD Drew or Dice-K?

    sammy sosa=roids
    albert belle=rager
    jay gibbons=gay and on the sauce
    kris benson=just gay

    And you think I’m a bandwagon fan? I would call you guilty of being a fairweather fan. You said it yourself, “the Orioles will be back above .500 next year”…that’s SUCCESS to you?? That’s just the attitude that hurts the Orioles, their fans, and the city: that “probably next year…it’s going to be great.” HUH? If that doesn’t define fairweather, I don’t know what would.

  8. Johnny Mnemonic

    yea, we suck because of MY attitude. stop defending him O’s fans. all sox fans have tiny weiners.

  9. One instance I always come back to that fuels my hatred for the Red Sox and their fans began in a barbershop. A few years ago I bumped into a guy I went to middle school and high school with. I was surprised to find a GREEN Sox hat adorning his melon. Here’s our exchange:

    Me: Hey, uh…Mike. What’s up?
    Him: Not much. How ya been?
    Me: I’ll cut to the chase. The hell is up with the hat?
    Him: Huh? Oh…the hat! I’ve ALWAYS been a Red Sox fan!
    Me: Uh…what?
    Him: Yeah! I’ve always been a HUGE Boston fan!
    Me: By ‘always’, do you mean like you shot out of the womb that way? Or did you mean ‘always’ as in ‘ever since they won a World Series’? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but you were an Orioles fan when we were kids.
    Him: I mean always like I liked the Sox AND the O’s.
    Me: Bulljibe. No you didn’t.
    Him: Sure I did!
    Me: No. You didn’t. You’re not gonna stand there, faux Sox hat on your head in a Baltimore barbershop and try to tell me that you’ve ALWAYS loved the Red Sox, but oddly enough not once in all the years we played baseball together, talked about baseball, even WENT TO AN O’S GAME TOGETHER did you EVER mention even liking a single PLAYER from the Red Sox, let alone the Sox in general. I call shenanigans. You’re a phony. Red Sox Nation deserves you.
    Him: Whatever bro. It’s just baseball.
    Me: I hope you get a f**cked up haircut, Benedict Arnold.

    The moral of the story is this: Don’t pretend to be a dyed-in-the-wool, son-of-a-son-of-a-Red-Sox-fan when the truth is that you jumped on the bandwagon when the team started winning. Man up. Admit it. “I’m so weak-minded that I caught Red Sox fever when they broke the curse of the Bambino. I realize it compromises and semblance of integrity and loyalty I may have had prior to my migration to Red Sox Nation, but that’s how it is.” I’d at least still respect ya, Mike. A little.

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