A very proud moment

In Orioles fan news, one of our own did something that should make all of us very proud. I only hope he is one of the 4 people that read this blog.

He threw Jorge Posada’s homer from last night’s game all the way back into the infield. My colleagues and I have always joked about trying to hit the umpire or infielders with the ball if we ever were lucky enough to catch one, but it hasn’t happened. This dude lived our fantasy and even got a spotlight on mlb.com’s video archive for it. Check it out here.

Well done sir, you have our respect.

Gregg Zaun = Rube Baker?

This was so hilarious it has to be posted.

Who isn’t a huge fan of the Major League movies? If you are not, get the fuck off of this blog. Hopefully, you are all still here because this is awesome. Gregg Zaun apparently had some real trouble throwing the ball back to the pitcher last night, you may recall the legendary catcher Rube Baker having the same issue in the classic Major League 2.  Watch and laugh.

Perhaps Zauny should start reciting dirty magazine articles  to get himself straightened out. (Pun intended)

Down on the Farm….Tuesday?

The O’s won their last game, if you haven’t been paying attention. The players and Trembley both tried their best to blow it, though. You can check me out on Twitter if you want to know my feelings about Lugo’s ill-advised bunt attempt and Trembley’s decision to leave Jim Johnson in for a third inning. Both were clearly bad calls and backfired as expected. On to more interesting topics…

Alfredo Simon has been called up from Norfolk to provide some help in our struggling bullpen, a corresponding move has not yet been announced but I have a hunch Kam Mickolio has already packed his shit. Simon has been dominant so far in AAA and is in his first year back from the famous Tommy John surgery. He struggles as a starter due to lack of fastball command and no consistent secondary offerings but for one inning it may not matter much. He flashes a mid to upper-90′s heater and has a second pitch and as a reliever you can get by with that. It will at least be interesting to see.

Jake Arrieta has been absolutely dominant so far in Norfolk, posting a 0.36 ERA in 4 starts spanning 25 innings. He has a 0.93 WHIP, 23 strikeouts, and a very good groundball to flyball ratio. Walks have still been a minor issue as he has allowed 10 free passes. In typical Jake Arrieta fashion, he has declared himself ready for his shot. I, for one, am excited to see him. Anyone who knows me knows that I rather enjoy a player who is kind of a cocky asshole. I hope that Arrieta is one and that it will be hilarious. We may have to wait a little while, though. Arrieta would have to be added to the 40 man roster which means someone would have to be removed and the conservative MacPhail will be unlikely to do that just yet. I look for Brad Bergesen to come back up to make a start on May 1. Bergesen was solid in his first Norfolk start and it makes the most sense for him to come right back up. He thinks he has straightened out his issues and is ready to come back already. I remain skeptical of him, as always.

As most of you probably know, our “future corner infielder” tandem of Brandon Snyder and Josh Bell have been struggling so far at Norfolk. Brandon Snyder continues to suck but Bell has been heating up. Bell went 3-4 yesterday with 2 homers and has hit 3 homer in the last two games. He needs to control the strike zone better as he has only 1 walk to 20 strikeouts but he has always had solid plate discipline so I’m sure it will come. I have always been unsure about Snyder, but he is not this bad. I expect he will come out of it and hit for a solid average but with middling power and less than stellar plate discipline. Another corner infielder to keep an eye on however is Brandon Waring at Bowie. Waring has big time power and has already hit 5 homers at Bowie. He strikes out a bunch but has a decent idea of the strike zone to go with it. He will never hit for great averages but if he walks enough and hits for power it won’t matter much.

Chris Tillman’s last Norfolk start was more encouraging than the others and our second most prized prospect, Zach Britton, has been inconsistent so far at Norfolk. Both are obviously worth keeping an eye on.

Matt Hobgood has had a solid start or two which has been good to see, but I still hate the pick.

He is also fat, which may actually work in his favor if he makes it to the big leagues. You know how we feel about fat guys…

Douchebags…in Bulk

Recently, I had new tires put on my vehicle at good ol’ Price Club (or Costco, for the noobs).  Everything went smoothly as I grabbed every free sample in sight while waiting for my ride to be ready.  But, things quickly took a turn for the worse.  Costco didn’t have yoo-hoo! Outraged, I left.  Luckily, at this point, my car was ready and a guy who, for the sake of this story, we will call JD (because that was his real name) was finishing up some paperwork.  And then, assuming he saw the Orioles stickers on my car, he proceeded to write this horseshit on my cute little packet thingy.

What the fuck?!  The room started spinning…

Apparently, it wasn’t long before I woke on the cold, cement floor of the Tire Center.  Either my blood sugar was low or I was trampled by the retarded bandwagon JD was piloting.  Upon remembering it was the latter, I crashed my car into the Tire Center and lit it on fire.

Jorge Julio Reference in 5, 4, 3…

So our good buddy used to work at OPACY for the company who handles the signs all over the field, including the one right behind home plate that gets destroyed on foul ticks and wild pitches.  Every so often he’d end up with the grounds crew during the game, underneath the out of town scoreboard.  And that glorious year, when we watched the Jorge Julio Shit-Show every night, said pitcher would routinely walk through the grounds crew holding area to the bathroom, at which point, he’d sack tap any of the unsuspecting kids not covering their prized possession.  That story alone made me love him, blown saves and all.

Unfortunately, I know nothing about Mike “The Save Siduation” other than he GTL like nobody’s business, so I hate him.

Anyway, after I spent a few minutes checking out the happenings over at OH (and by happenings I mean panic, crazy talk, and total fucking stupidity) I remembered about the dude who is walking to work every time the O’s lose.

I read a few of his entries.  They’re pretty funny.  If you get bored and want something to read that is funny and devoid of stupidity, check it out.  Plus he mentions Jorge in one of them, so that’s a bonus.

We’re a bunch of cool guys!

In some recent, exciting news, we were (we think) anonymously complimented in our “Merch” section yesterday by someone using the name Jim Palmer.

Jim Palmer April 21, 2010 at 3:32 pm

“What a bunch of cool guys you are! Fags.”

Now, we don’t think it was Jim himself because his comment made no mention of Jim Palmer as much of his commentary does.  So, either this guy has the same name as an Oriole great, which would be awesome, or he is a coward and hiding behind a fake name. Who would do that? But, let’s take a closer look at his actual comment and break it down a bit to get into the mind of this upstanding citizen.

“What a bunch of cool guys you are!”

Guilty as charged, my man. Guilty as charged.  And, I love the excitement!  It’s not often that we get such glaring comments from anyone but our mothers, so it was refreshing and made my heart beat a little faster.  I got to the end of that exclamatory sentence and was feeling great about myself.  But, wait!  There is more to come?  I can’t wait to read what is next as the lovefest continues.

“Fags.”

Oh no!  Why did you have to go there?  It makes me think that you really didn’t mean the first part of your comment.  Please tell me that isn’t true.  My self esteem can’t take it.  I don’t know what to think anymore.  I thought you were a super-intelligent, awesome bro that loved to read our blog.  Now, I think you’re an idiot.  You must be, if you don’t like us. (Right, Mom?)  But, then you threw in the last word there, which also makes me think that you think gay people are really awesome too, or you are just an idiot again.

I don’t know who you are, but I am sure we could have been great friends.  Here is my list of suspects:

Jim Palmer. There is nothing that man can say that will make me dislike him.

Shane Falco. He truly is the wild card, like Charlie.

Roch Kubatko. His initial threat before crushing us all in his biceps.

Jealous Internet Troll. Your typical, no sense of humor, inflated sense of self-worth troll.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

As you can see, we don’t take ourselves too seriously and neither should you.

See you at the yard.

~Jjaks Clayton

Want a Fresh Perspective on O’s Baseball?

Don’t look on Splice Today.  Russ has this habit of sending me articles they post about the O’s to either A) stir me up or B) generate some traffic to his site.  Could be both but we don’t get enough traffic to make me think B is very plausible.  He’s certainly not afraid of bad publicity as my first encounter with him was less than positive.

So he sends me this gem, by someone other than himself.  Now, lately, I’ve been letting all the O’s bashing slide, as I don’t have much ground to stand on when defending them.  But, to placate Russ and give me something to do where I can say the F-word at someone on the internet (It makes me feel more like a man) I’ll knock the shit out of this one.  So without further ado, I present to you:

Orioles 2010: The good thing is it can’t get much worse

A disappointing start to yet another disappointing season.

Well, that was quick. What a start to the 2010 season for your Baltimore Orioles.

Why do you say your Baltimore Orioles?  Are you not an O’s fan?  Let me guess, Red Sox?  Wouldn’t surprise me a bit.

A 2-12 record, with that second win on Sunday stopping a nine game losing streak. In roughly a week the optimism emanating from Camden Yards was gone. The pitiful play, atrocious record, and what appears to be an indifferent attitude by some players has many fans in Baltimore looking towards Ravens season.

Show me an indifferent attitude or any evidence of it (Lugo doesn’t count, he isn’t actually on the team).  I usually laugh when people suggest shit like this.  It’s a lot like the ever-present theory of the “culture of losing”.  Show me a quote where someone said, “We lost, but who gives a fuck, I’m a millionaire.”

Sane Orioles fans were not predicting a playoff spot, following the 64-98 records last year, and only minor improvements through free agency and trades.

Correct.  Not that sanity has anything to do with it though.  Logic plays a big part.  Common sense, too.

This is still an organization that has not had a winning season since 1997, with handfuls of fourth and fifth place finishes. Adding to the arduous process of building a contender is that in my opinion the three best teams in the American League play in the Orioles’ division, including the World Series champions.

Two sentences that do not back up your main point.  Never mind they don’t add much to your thesis, they are two of the most played out comments when “outsiders” talk about Orioles baseball.  No fucking shit.  We are getting dominated in our division.  Go tell someone in Europe…there’s an audience that this might be breaking news to.

And for the record, Tampa Bay has been good for a few years.  They’re far from the perennial powerhouse that everyone claims they are.  Maybe they will be, but they aren’t yet, so gently remove their fist from your ass, it’s fucking up your thought process.

However, most fans were excited about the core of young players, and were ready to take modest steps towards improvement.

It feels like August in Baltimore because the team resembles one that is finishing another losing season. Usually the Orioles play tolerably in the beginning, hang around 5-10 games beneath .500, and flame out in the final two months. An April nine-game losing skid seems misplaced.

Maybe injuries to Koji, Mike “The Save Siduation”, Brian, Felix (one of our hottest hitters), Tejada, and what seems to be damage to Bergesen’s psyche after the ball to the shin or shoulder injury and subsequent shellings have something to do with hit.  Just a thought.

In each of the past five seasons the Orioles longest losing streaks have been in August or September:

—September, 2005: 9 game losing streak

—August, 2006: 5 game losing streak

—August, 2007: 9 game losing streak

—September, 2008: 10 game losing streak

—September, 2009: 13 game losing streak

Watching during the pathetic 0-6 homestand, the team already looked lifeless.

Again, prove it.

When you play well enough to win only to have your new closer blow two saves in the first four games, it must have an impact. Instead of 3-1 the O’s were 1-3.

Yup, that sucks.  But it’s early enough that these guys, professionals, would not let that bother them much.

Manager Dave Trembley deserves some of the blame. He has mismanaged the bullpen—in an 8-6 loss to Tampa Bay he pitched Matt Albers for the third consecutive game. Albers took the loss after Carlos Pena demolished a pitch into the stands for a home run. I’m unsure if he even knows how to fill out a lineup card. Miguel Tejada should not be hitting clean up at this point in his career.

Agreed on some points.  Agree he can’t fill out a line up card.  Tejada at clean up is a joke.  Bullpen management is usually not on par but very few of those games were lost because of either of those things.  The team simply didn’t hit.  Quality starts from everyone but Brad were wasted by the bull pen and the lack of hitting.

My biggest complaint about Trembley might be the goofy, perplexed look on his face. That stare that shows all Orioles fans he is out of ideas, and in over his head.

After a solid couple of points you go and throw away all your hard earned street cred with that.  Seriously?  That’s how I know you’re not an O’s fan.  Your biggest complaint is that Trembley looks like a puppy dog, when real O’s fans know, that that’s what makes him so damn lovable.  A real O’s fan’s biggest complaint would have been the shit you lead with.  Instead, you show your incompetence at either humor,  general sports knowledge, or both.

For those of you who still have some optimism, the good thing is it can’t get much worse. The blown saves will decrease, the 0-4 bullpen should pitch better, the Orioles will get on base more, and the horrendous RISP average will rise. Before Sunday’s game it was .153. That just sucks. I think the team may need internal changes in order to spark this team. Luckily it is still very early and goals can still be reached this year. If some of the young players can fulfill their potential and show leadership they should give Orioles fans something to cheer about this year. Maybe.

Hey, the smart you rejoined us for that last paragraph.  Finally some common sense.  The law of averages guarantees these predictions, though if we get hit with more injuries, it could get worse.  A lot worse.  But I’ll still be there with 5 of my best friends, heckling the shit out of carpet baggers like you.

Positively.

Everyone, start panicking

We apologize for the general lack of activity lately, it has been hard to write about what has transpired recently. We have also begun our very strenuous, borderline professional, softball league schedules which definitely detracts from O’s viewing and writing time.

As most of you know by now, this team has been hit with a lot of bad news lately. It’s getting a bit ridiculous actually. Felix Pie tore his lat and he’s now out for 3 months. He was really hot at the time of the injury and had really been playing well. Despite the occasional mistake he is a very exciting player to watch and this is a big blow to the team. Brian Roberts is apparently not making much progress and they now expect him to miss significant time with no time table for his return even being discussed yet. There is also not much word on the progress of Koji Uehara who appears to be composed entirely of Charmin Ultra Soft. Miguel Tejada has missed the last couple of games with a hip injury though that really hasn’t been much of a loss. As usual, this team is continually cursed. Ty Wigginton is the only guy hitting anything right now, Adam Jones looks absolutely lost at the plate and in the field, Markakis isn’t hitting anything with authority, Wieters just doesn’t look like he’s made any progress, Reimold looks like shit, and we are getting pretty much what I expected from Tejada, Atkins, Lugo, and Izturis. How can a whole team just forget how to hit? I don’t have an explanation. I’m not sure anyone does.

The latest, great news is that Brad Bergesen is an excellent batting practice pitcher, so he may be able to help everyone out. Seriously though, we knew Brad was due for a bit of a fall. It was unlikely he could maintain the success he had last year with the peripherals he was putting up. His groundball rate was okay but not dominant and he didn’t strike enough guys out to keep it going at that level. I had no idea it would be this bad. Guys like Bergesen who rely completely on one pitch and soft contact to get their outs have a very small margin for error.  (See also Wang, Chien-Ming; Carmona, Fausto) Brad is not commanding any of his pitches and he looks to have completely lost his sinker, which means he’s got nothing and that’s exactly what he has looked like so far. He got beat around for the 3rd straight start yesterday and now he’s being optioned back to Norfolk. When he got pulled from the game last night he looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown, a guy who has lost all confidence in his ability. Word is that Alberto Castillo is going to be called up to fill in in the pen until the 5th starter is needed again on May 1. The interesting question is who will make that start? I have to guess the options are Jason Berken or Jake Arrieta. Berken has been very solid in the pen so far and I still think that is his future value but I could see them giving him a start or two just to give the guys in Norfolk a couple more starts down there. However, I would really like to see Arrieta just for the excitement. He has been absolutely dominating so far in 3 starts at AAA. He threw 14 straight scoreless innings in his first 2 starts and gave up a run in 6, in his latest start last night. He has been posting an absurd groundball rate while still missing a decent number of bats. Either move is defensible, but I would prefer to see Arrieta just because we need something to be excited about and this team is lacking that right now.

But hey, we still get to watch Brian Matusz every 5th day. That may actually be the only games I watch for a while.

Yeah, right.

Chicken Little

Look to the sky Orioles fans! It is falling! Everyone panic! We’re terrible again!

Clearly, most of the casual fans didn’t need that information because they had already made these conclusions on their own. But, seriously people, chill out. First, we are 7, that’s right 7 games into a 162 game season. I realize that their struggles are being overblown right now because it is the beginning of the season and everyone is still paying attention, but there are 155 games remaining. Secondly, if you expected this team to be good this year you are one, possibly two years premature. Yes, the front office said the rebuild was over and they intend to start improving in the standings. That could still happen, but I think people really ran too far with those comments. Despite what the front office and Trembley say publicly, they know full well this is still a development year and we aren’t winning anything. That doesn’t mean we can’t win more games than we did in 2009, which is their real goal. Finally, we are 7 fucking games into the season. The team has certainly been frustrating so far, but it is premature to see this much lust for blood.

I’m asking you to be objective for a second. I know, a tough request for most O’s fans. There have been positives in this 7 game stretch. Starting pitching has been our weakness for many years, and it was supposedly the reason we would continue to be held back this year, according to some analysts. Well, the starting pitching has been pretty solid through the first turn outside of Bergesen’s outing. The bullpen has looked decent aside from Mike Gonzalez, who has had too good of a career not to fix himself. The problem right now is we are not hitting, against anyone. Slumps happen, and sometimes you get lucky and the whole team falls into one simultaneously. It’s the nature of the game. The good news is that this team can hit, and they will hit soon. Some things need to happen, some I am confident about, others not so much.

The Good – The only two guys going good right now are Matt Wieters and Garrett Atkins, and only one of them I have any confidence will continue. I’m sure you can guess which one. The good news is there are hitters on this team and they will get better, we are not a dominant offensive club, but I still think we end the season above average. If the pitching stays steady, we will win some games. You could also make a case for Felix Pie, but his playing time has been so limited it hasn’t mattered much.

The Bad – Nick Markakis is not going to hit .167 this year, I will guarantee you that. He will be around .300 as he always is by the end of the year. If he keeps having good at-bats, as he is now, the hits will start falling and if he maintains anything resembling his current walk rate he will have another year as good as 2008.

The Ugly – Adam Jones is really scuffling right now, he looks a lot like the guy he was in the second half of last year. I have never been a huge fan of Adam. He seems like a decent dude and has immense talent. However, my fear is that he will never improve the glaring weakness in his game enough for his talent to be realized. The guy is swinging at everything right now and he continues to get himself out at-bat after at-bat because he can’t lay off garbage. If he doesn’t improve in this area, he could easily be a Corey Patterson. A talented and highly touted prospect who was completely destroyed by a lack of plate discipline that negated his tools. I am confident that he won’t look this bad all year but I still have my doubts he becomes the star Orioles fans are expecting. Watching him flail through every low and away breaking pitch thrown in his general vicinity is just brutal to watch right now.

Brian Roberts struggled while he was in the lineup.  Now, he is hurt and I am not confident he will be the excellent player he has been upon his return. Even before the injury concerns there was a lot to dislike about his contract extension. All the major stats have been on a downward trend. His defense has slipped, he is stealing less bases, he is striking out more, and he is walking less. These are all very strong signs that his decline phase has begun and that trend usually continues downward. Hopefully when he comes back he can stay healthy and closely resemble the Brian Roberts we all know and love, but I wouldn’t bet a whole lot on it.

Luke Scott has started the year in one of his patented slumps. Almost the entire team is shooting themselves in the feet swinging at garbage. Even Jays’ catcher Jose Molina commented on continually throwing balls out of the zone because the Orioles weren’t laying off them. Adam Jones and Miguel Tejada have very typically walked 0 times in 26 and 25 at bats, respectively. We can’t expect much out of Lugo or Izturis so I will leave them alone. Everyone knows they can’t hit so I won’t pretend they have any chance of turning it around. This team certainly lacks much needed plate discipline. This may be a weakness all year, but they can’t be this bad all season. The Orioles as a team have hit .167 with runners in scoring position, since this is not a repeatable skill and is largely luck you have to believe that this will move back towards the mean.

Defensively we have had some good and bad performances, some surprising, some not. Miguel Tejada has been decent so far at third base, much better than I expected. Many people are blaming yesterday’s loss on him because he was charged with an error that would have been out 3 in the eighth inning just before Millwood gave up back to back jacks. I though it was a tough error, that ball took a wicked hop and it was a tough play. Calling it an error was defensible but the error certainly wasn’t egregious by any means. Millwood still has to pitch and he probably should have been yanked after the home run instead of being left in to give up another.  Either way, the loss could be placed once again at the feet of the anemic offense we have been displaying so far this season.

Nolan Reimold has predictably been butchering left field, I’m not sure how anyone can continue to defend his defense at this point. He looked awful last year and so far he has been just as brutal, and the numbers bare that out.  I love his bat and he is a good looking fellow and probably a decent human being but he will be DHing or playing first quite a bit in the future methinks. Luke Scott is even a much better option in the outfield. Felix Pie has shown flashes of being a good hitter and his excellent defense more than makes up for the offensive difference between the two.  Everyone wants to argue for or against the other, guess what O’s fans and Trembley? You can have them both in the lineup! The AL added this position called DH a few years ago.

To go with the O’s fans in panic theme, we have this beautiful piece from our favorite blogger Russ Smith. Russ has already declared the Orioles season a failure, along with most of our dwindling casual O’s fans. The kicker here is that he is a Sox fan whose baseball knowledge essentially starts and stops with “The Red Sox are good”. Russ also goes on to blame Dave Trembley for the team’s poor start. Look, everyone knows I am not a fan of Dave Trembley at all. He seems like a decent fellow but he does a lot of stupid things that I don’t agree with, but blaming him for this early skid is comical. The only way it is possible is if Trembley literally shit in Mike Gonzalez’s cereal and he was so upset he wanted to pitch poorly to get back at him. Then we can go ahead and chalk up two losses to Trembley right there. Aside from that, there isn’t much Trembley can do to stop our hitters overly aggressive approach, bad luck with balls in play, injuries, and a general lack of talent. This team isn’t as bad as they have looked, things will break right. The team will score some runs ,the bullpen will get sorted out, we will see some new exciting young talent, and the starting staff will stay relatively stable. I predicted this team to win 79 games, and I still stand by it. In conclusion, at least we aren’t 0-7…

Save us Brian Matusz

ESH Makes History

Three of us were a part of the record-low nine thousand, one hundred twenty-nine (9,129) in attendance at OPACY last night.  This is the lowest ballpark attendance ever…in the history of attendance.  So, we talked to some fans at the game about it.  Just kidding.  There weren’t any.  The Expos have better attendance.  To give you an idea, I will paint you a picture…with a picture.

Also, we managed to exploit the “Fan of the Game” free pretzel situation and damn did it feel good…again.  To top it all off, friends and family were able to see three total badasses every time Garza was shown diddling around the mound.

In case you missed our epic television time with Matt Garza; left to right at Garza’s head level are Tom Ludlow, yours truly, and Shane Falco.

Tonight is Wieters T-shirt night to the first 10,000. With the chance of rain, attendance will probably be 12. We will be in attendance if the weather does not cooperate with our softball double-header, hopefully in time for the prize. /sarcasm

Adventures at the Yard: Weekend Edition

As you know, Opening Day wasn’t too eventful.  But, come Saturday the Hooligans were back in their usual spot (Section 4) with Errol, the usher.  Things felt much better atmospherically and we were able to cheer & heckle for the first time in the ’10 season.  This time around though we weren’t heckling Bautista, but instead…this guy to the right.  Some cat with Eugene Levy-esque eyebrows wearing a Boston cap.  We heckled him for that reason alone, but the real kicker came when he attempted to lead the cheers in our section.  Baffling.  And, annoying. He was also wearing his jacket tied around his waist, which obviously isn’t cool and we let him know it.

On a cooler note, a friend of a friend won “Fan of the Game.”  Naturally, we moved to her row, as no one but her mother and herself were sitting there, for the free pretzel.  Everyone followed suit, until the row was full.  It worked out nicely.  While the chick handed out the pretzel coupons, some old hussie in the row in front of us tattled!  Lucky for us, the pretzel chick didn’t give a single shit, so we all enjoyed some cinnamon-sugar goodness.  The older chick then informed us she was an 8th grade teacher and going to use us as an example for cheaters.  We informed her we were “cheaters” that enjoyed some delicious free pretzels.  Saturday’s game was full of lame asses.

Sunday’s game was nice, weather-wise.  The action was nice to start, then took a turn for the worst as shot after shot took a trip to Souvenir City and we ended up losing our 5th game of the season (not to mention the sweep by the Jays).  Being without other Hooligans, I chose to express myself through the art of dance, instead of heckle.  My sultry moves to Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA,” didn’t even warrant a Jumbo-tron look.  But, I’m sure someone in proximity was aroused.

Second to lastly, speaking of arousal, Markakis is still the jam.  While not reflected in the overrated batting average statistic, the Greek stud is projected to have 243 walks.  That’s ridiculous and surely not going to happen.  But, because of this early, impressive stat, I’ve crudely photoshopped him for the ladies (and some dudes.)  That’s good body.

In finality, there will be some Hooligans at the game tonight.  Section 4.  Feel free to join us or fall victim to my gyration.

Game On.

Yesterday’s game was quite the disappointment.  Pitching was poor.  Bergeson gave up a handful of runs in 4 2/3 an inning (not completely his fault considering Jones should have caught that deep fly that gave up 2 in the first), however the O’s still managed to get 1 more than the Jays with the hot bat of, reigning MASN ‘Player of the Game,’ Michael Tejada.  Time to close shop.  But, on par with his first few outings…

However, ESH are not prepared to boo him…yet.  Not everyone can be dominant right off the bat (no pun intended, but count it!).  I think Gonzalez will find his groove and finish his innings like he’s been starting them.  Two K’s, then loading the bases was a bit extreme in our only win.

Anywho, a few of the Hooligans will be attending the game tonight.  We were out of our element yesterday, having to sit in our designated spots, but tonight will most likely be different.  And, by different I mean back to the usual “cheap ticket, pick your seat” deal we’re all so fond of.  Looking to be in Section 4ish on the right field line.  Come join the party.

Opening Day

All the Hooligans are going to be at the Yard today.  I bet you can’t get a picture taken with all of us!  How’s that for a challenge?  Anyone that does, gets to…I don’t know… hang out with us!?

Anyway, it’s going to be a blast.  We’re going to kick the shit out of the Jays.

Keep an eye on your twitter feeds for I, KL, and Jjaks will be tweeting our way through the game I’m sure.

“If you ain’t first, you last.”

True to the title, we aren’t in first, we’re in last.  Some may think it’s early, but sadly the O’s , two games in, sit in the basement.  We only have 160 games remaining to turn things around and clinch…our 4th place spot…in the division.  Of course, this isn’t going to destroy my spirit or my attendance.  I, with the other Hooligans, plan to attend a plethora of games.  Actually, I’m pumped.  Especially for Opening Day.  I wasn’t able to attend the Wieters debut last season, so it’s been quite a bit since I’ve experienced a full house, without the douche-baggery of the Yankees or Sox.

With Matusz starting tonight, I’m confident we won’t get swept to start the season.  I’m also confident that regardless of Longoria providing 3 of 4 runs last night, consistently sending balls through the roof of Orange Juice Field, and Garza’s line, Tejada will again be the “Player of the Game” on MASN.

In fantasy news, It’s Business Time, strategically managed by yours truly, is currently in first place.  Three games into the season, is it too early for me to celebrate this victory?  No.  My “no moves,” style and Heyward-hype will surely carry me to the championship and all the naysayers, namely myself, will be silenced.

On an unrelated note, another jersey was misspelled. Velez of the Giants, in his debut, rocked his “San Francicso” jersey.  Granted this is only a misspelling, but I fear the joke will become more elaborate.  It may just be a matter of time.

Opening Day Thoughts

1.  If you aren’t excited, we aren’t friends.

See you Friday at the yard.

Friday Turd Droppings: Targets, Outlook, and Opening Day

As Tom mentioned in his update from Sarasota, we love to heckle Denard Span.  We’re not really sure why.

Thanks for the easy material.

From Deadspin:

A woman wearing a Denard Span jersey is plunked by a line drive off the bat of Denard Span. What kind of person wears a Denard Span jersey to a spring training game? Yep, it was his mom.

Nice.

Also from Deadspin, Will Leitch is putting together his outlook for the season on all MLB teams…even the Pirates, Royals, and Orioles!  Neato!

As Cameron points out, the Orioles can do everything right and still miss out.

It’s pretty bleak.  But like Tom said, “Unfortunately, the current plan is the only one that has any chance.”

Finally, the hooligans will be heading over to Jimmy’s Famous for the Camden Chat/WNST opening night party.  Should be a good time.