Yeah, we don’t write much anymore and I haven’t written in a long time. Come to think of it, it was right around the time I started banging your mother! BOOM!
Anyone who has been watching the Orioles this season knows that 3rd base has been an absolute train wreck defensively. Mark Reynolds clearly has the yips and shits himself whenever a ball is hit in his direction so he isn’t trusted there even when he isn’t hurt. Wilson Betemit is somehow even worse than that. He has the range of Derek Jeter with hands made of what I believe to be stale bread. Ryan Flaherty looks like he can’t hit himself out of a wet paper bag. Bill Hall appears to have spent a good portion of the last few months eating other people, and Steve Tolleson is Steve fucking Tolleson. Continue reading →
In case you haven’t seen it elsewhere, the Texas Rangers are taking a hard stand against the travesty that is the wave. Every ballpark should be adopting a similar position. We need to make this happen at the yard, even though all the empty seats usually do it for us.
Tonight’s Orioles game is interesting enough for me to stay up to watch the whole thing. The Orioles are in the midst of a very typical 4 game losing streak in which the starting pitching has been awful and the offense has completely disappeared. The bullpen on the other hand has actually been pretty solid. Funny how this game works isn’t it? So why the hell would I want to watch tonight’s game? Continue reading →
The Baltimore Orioles look a lot like the Baltimore Orioles these days. Just when you think they might be better, they may have turned a corner, they shit themselves the minute they see Red Sox or Yankees. With two heartbreaking late game losses in a row, we’ve seen this movie before… many times.
Some of you have probably already seen this blog entry by Britt Ghiroli. In this entry Kevin Gregg addresses his early struggles, being booed, and the closer situation. He also does it with all of the class of an episode of “The Jersey Shore”. To put it kindly, Gregg’s comments make him seem like a real horse’s patootie. Continue reading →
The more you watch this team, the more you get the feeling that nothing will ever work for them. Not only have the Orioles been snakebit by injuries so far in the early part of the season, but the entire lineup is underperforming. Where have we seen this before? Continue reading →
A lot of stuff has happened recently. Manny Ramirez retired (LOL), the Orioles got pounded with absolutely no lubrication by the Rangers in their last two games, and I saw comedian Bill Burr in Towson and even he talked about the Orioles. Continue reading →
No, seriously… I spent last week with the most elderly folk I had ever seen in one place. You know that stereotype about old people doing everything very slowly? It’s totally true. I was forced to walk and drive slower than ever before the entire week. These fucking snowbirds were crawling everywhere. Continue reading →
That’s right I said it. My unhealthy obsession with baseball forces me to stomach far too much MLB Network. I watch MLBN constantly, usually driving me to the point of nausea, yelling at the television, and sometimes even poopie in my pants Continue reading →
By now I’m sure you’ve heard of Bryce Harper. He was on the cover of Sports Illustrated at 16 years old as the “LeBron James” of baseball. He famously dropped out of high school, obtained his GED and attended JuCo early in order to be eligible for the MLB draft early. He was then taken Continue reading →
So, that thing we talked about? It happened just as expected. The Orioles won a vigorous negotiation against themselves to acquire the services of Vladimir Guerrero. To put the cherry on it, it only took 8 million dollars to do it.
Sarcasm aside, this move definitely takes the Orioles offseason down a letter grade in my opinion.
Casual Orioles fans everywhere are freaking out at the speculation that we could end up signing Vlad Guerrero this week. For cereal guys, there are people hanging on every word and really letting the Orioles have it for not getting this done already. The guy is a HOF player and had a “great” year for Texas last year. What are we waiting for? I mean, shouldn’t we all be super excited to sign Vlad Guerrero’s corpse at this stage?
Fuck, that really got boring quickly. Now we have to wait weeks with nothing at all to talk about until Spring Training starts. Yes, the Orioles are apparently not done making moves before camp but nothing major is expected and there has been nothing in the way of news over the last couple of weeks. Sure, a lot of fans have been clamoring for the O’s to sign Vladimir Guerrero but it’s not likely to happen, and I am totally fine with that.
So I haven’t posted any reactions to the Orioles latest moves and for that I am ashamed. So without further adieu I would like to do so now if that would be agreeable. Since you cannot answer me back I will just assume that it is.
I have come out of the closet to my parents! It was a really difficult decision, but in the end (hehe) I think it is best for my future that I am honest with not only myself but those close to me as well. My dad was pissed. He did look fabulous though.
In what is obviously a sick joke, the Orioles did this.
What are they doing? They are paying Cesar Izturis 1.5 million dollars to be the club’s utility infielder. I don’t understand it all unless it is a joke to get back at the people like us who bash Cesar. Cesar Izturis is an awful major league baseball player. We are paying him over 3 times the league minimum salary to do the same job as Robert Andino would at the league minimum. Money aside I would probably prefer Andino, but he is also cheaper, younger, and with more upside. I was really, really, really hoping to never have to watch Izturis flailing away helplessly at the plate in an Orioles uniform. All the positive momentum they had going with me has now been killed. The Orioles clearly did this just to spite me.
We need some good news soon to offset this giant dagger.
As you probably know by now, Luke Scott is in the news for being an idiot. The original interview can be found here.
As most know, I defend Luke Scott the baseball player ferociously. He gets a lot of criticism for his play by dumbasses who have no idea what they are talking about. That’s the real issue, I hate dumb baseball fans much more than I love Luke Scott. Luke Scott is a good baseball player, but this is not the first time he has offered up these sort of opinions. These latest comments are indefensible however, it just makes him look like an idiot and even I must concede that he deserves all the negative criticism that he’s getting for this. I was just surprised to see it spread to the masses as fast as it did. I have seen it on pretty much every major news site and when I turned on the radio during my commute this morning it is all everyone was talking about. I even heard a long conversation about how his rant was “veiled racism”, that actually seems a bit extreme to me. I must say though, if even the guy who is interviewing you calls you out for being blatantly incorrect in your statements you are probably on the wrong track.
Bottom line Luke, it is probably a good idea to pipe down on your extremist political views in the press and do what you do best… grow a sweet ass beard, look menacing, and hit baseballs to the fucking moon. I will still love you come April.
Celebrate with me! The Orioles will officially acquire J.J. Hardy today after coming to an agreement with the Minnesota Twins late last night (if you say early this morning, go fuck yourself). The deal involves minor league relievers Brett Jacobsen, who we acquired in the Aubrey Huff trade in 2009, and Jim Hoey. It is also likely that we will be including our Rule 5 draft pick Adrian Rosario but hat has not been made official yet. The Rosario pick seems a bit odd since Rule 5 picks must be kept on the 25 man roster all year and Rosario is a 20 year old kid just out of rookie ball. Regardless, we have essentially picked up J.J. Hardy, a solid shortstop, for nothing of consequence except money. Also included in the deal is terrible utility man Brendan Harris who was likely added as a salary dump.
The most important part of this acquisition is that I no longer have to watch the excruciating at bats of Cesar “I’m swingin’ a flyswatter” Izturis. The best part is all the old guys who bring up Mark Belanger and talk about how much they love Cesar can shut the fuck up too because Hardy is as good as, maybe even better, than Izturis with the glove too! I like this deal a hell of a lot more than giving up Nolan Reimold to get an inferior player in Jason Bartlett as was rumored before. I have to say that we have made two pretty good trades so far. It looks to me like we will round out the offseason with a first baseman, likely one of Adam LaRoche or Derrek Lee, and a couple of relievers. I would be pleasantly surprised with that amount of activity. Were I in charge, and it’s probably a good thing I’m not, I would also look into getting an old DH a short term deal to add some more pop to the lineup. for example, maybe Jim Thome a cheap one year deal though it seems unlikely he would be interested. That would allow us to move Luke Scott back to left field and Pie to a 4th outfielder role where he can still get plenty of time. That would be a pretty formidable lineup and no one I see as a big time future piece would be getting blocked. I see that scenario as unlikely however. All I know is I’m glad to not have to watch the worst hitter in the major leagues again this year.
We have also completed a deal to re-sign Koji Uehara, which is another good deal. As a reliever, Koji was shut down quality last season. He brings kick ass sideburns, an insane strikeout to walk ratio, and he hasn’t walked a batter since August 5. It will be interesting to see how long this streak lasts.