Author Archives: Kevin Lomax

Important MLB Player Attribute: Spelling

I was reading through the latest posts at one of my favorite sites, MLB Trade Rumors, and found this in reference to Andruw Jones’ possible fit with the Yankees:

He bats right-handed and can play all three outfield positions, so he could provide the Yankees with some pop as a fourth outfielder and spell Curtis Granderson and Brett Gardner.

I’m glad Andruw can spell.  That seems like an attribute that not only baseball players should have, but other humans too.

I disagreed with the above assessment though so I did some digging.  On Andruw has a career +spell% of only about 35.  You have to factor in his down year in ’06 when he had a putrid +spell% of 13.  That, coupled with his SCP (Spelling, capitalization, and punctuation) of only 960 and you have one of your worst spelling seasons ever.  Still though, his career numbers are nothing to hang your hat on.

ZiPs only has him at a +spell% of about 43 this year so I’m thinking I’d like to see the Yankees make such a stupid move.  Not that we need the help.  The O’s had the highest team SCP last year of 31,989.

Foreign people must fucking hate trying to learn English.

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I’m excited

Here’s my top 5 reasons I’m ready for some Orioles baseball.

5.  Under the Radar

I think a lot of the additions that we’ve made have been under the radar moves.  People are going to be pissing their pants about Reynolds strike-out potential and what not but they are dumb.  Quietly, we’ve put together a nice little team.  We aren’t winning the World Series but there is more room for optimism this year than there should have been in past years.  You want to get excited like me?  It’s allowed.  Plus we didn’t sign any markee names that will cause bandwaggoners and deserters to start suddenly flooding the park so we can continue to sit anywhere we want.

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…I’m real fucking bored.  I have nothing meaningful to say about Orioles baseball right now.  I rarely do anyway.  Orioles Hangout was in my CD player for a while but it seems someone pressed repeat and all I hear is LaRoche and Lee, LaRoche and Lee, and so on.

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Was that fucked up?  Aren’t the winter meetings exciting though?  I can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow!

And, good news, tomorrow is a gym day.  For those that don’t know (everyone), Monday I was at the gym and before I went, the Reynolds talks were heating up and I was totally like, “He better be ours by the time I get back”, and he totally was!!!!  Neat!

Tomorrow, I’m looking for Koji or Hardy or Lee (either one!)



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Who the Fuck is Ron Fritz?

In what can only be described as one of the most cockamamie ideas in Baltimore history, Ron Fritz spews out some really awful drivel.

As baseball’s Winter Meetings approach and the Orioles begin looking to upgrade their roster, they need to do something bold to build on the buzz created by hiring Buck Showalter.

Like sign good players to help us a win some games!  Great idea.

They need to sign Derek Jeter.


The Orioles have many holes — first base, third base, veteran starting pitching and the bullpen. But they also need a shortstop. More importantly, they need a leader.

Nope.  They don’t need one.  They have Buck.  Brian and Nick are stepping up their leadership roles.  We do not need to spend more than 60 million dollars on a leader.  We could spend a couple of grand to have the guy from 127 Hours speak for the team in the club house.

They need Derek Jeter.

They definitely don’t need him.

Sure, he’s 36 and will turn 37 during the 2011 season. But he’s durable, playing at least 150 games the past seven seasons. His batting average fell from .334 to .270 and his home run total dropped by eight to just 10.

Writing tip #34767 – Don’t say things that refute your argument.

But he drove in 67 runs

With a crazy prolific line-up.  They had a team average OBP of .350.  Also, who fucking gives a shit about RBI’s besides old ass “purists”?

and won a Gold Glove.

Right because Gold Glove is the most non-biased award given in baseball.  You really fucking irritate me Ron.

He’s no Cesar Izturis defensively, but he’s solid and his hitting numbers crush those of Izturis.

ANYONE’S NUMBERS CRUSH IZZY!!!!  He was the worst hitter in all of baseball last year.  That’s not hyperbole.  He was worth less than a replacement player at -.4 WAR.  I’m sure that last sentence looks like gibberish to you.

Me:  You know what WAR is right, Ron?

Ron:  What is WAR?  What is it good for?  Absolutely NOTHIN!  HAHA. In your face!  All I care about is gritty, leadershipness.

Jeter also would bring five World Series titles, command respect in the locker room and show a young Orioles team how to play the game. The future Hall of Famer is 74 hits from 3,000. If there is one thing the Orioles do well, it’s milestone ceremonies.

I think you might have something here though.  Andy’s biggest weakness is clearly is inability to wine and dine potential free agents.  But, if he just told them about how well we throw milestone ceremonies, he might increase is closing average.  Genius.  I sure hope Regis Stanczak is still trolling the internet looking for great ideas, cause this one is a fucking gem!

If the Yankees are willing to let Jeter test the free-agency market, then the Orioles should be there with an offer, somewhere in the four-year, $60 million range. Really, whatever it takes.

That’s pretty much what he turned down.  That’s a fucking-lot for a motivator.

Ask Cal Ripken Jr. to help recruit him.

Why?  It’s not his job.  Cal isn’t Ray Lewis trying to get Boldin or TO to play for the Ravens.  Cal is busy being an absolutely badass/dreamboat.

And then, because you have a shortstop who does more than hit singles, you can maybe re-sign Ty Wigginton to play third or first and still be able to spend decent money for another corner infielder.

86% of Izzy’s hits were singles.  Jeter literally crushes him by a whole 10%.  That’s what an extra 55 mil is worth.  10% more extra base hits?  I literally don’ t know what else to say to you Ron.

It would be a PR disaster for the Yankees,

Here, I agree with you.  It would be hilarious.

it would hurt them on the field

No it wouldn’t.  The Yankees are a blank check away from any player they want.  The only thing that keeps the Yankees from getting players is when players actually hate the Yankees like we do (Unless you’re Johnny Damon).  And, as you pointed out, he’s really declining with age.  So they’ll just get someone better.

and maybe, just maybe, his signing would send a signal to other free agents that Baltimore is a great place to play.

Why would that be the case?  What if he came here and was like, “Fuck…I really messed this one up.”

Imagine Showalter and Ripken holding a No. 2 Orioles jersey with Jeter on the back as they announce the signing.

Why is Ripken there again?

They couldn’t print tickets fast enough at Camden Yards.

Yes, they could.  They have plenty left over from last year.  Peter has his paralegals hand cross out the dates and repurpose them.  He’s a dastardly man.

Yeah, I know he’s a Yankee, and Orioles fans hate the Yankees.

He’s not just any Yankee.  He’s Mr. Yankee.  The face of the franchise.  The sheer embodiment of the biased, cock sucking that goes on with mainstream sports pundits.  If you wanted to burn the Yankee’s in effigy, the stuffed doll would surely be wearing a number 2 jersey.

But they hate losing even more.

I’m kind of used to it.  I like being able to sit wherever I want and walk up to the ticket window at a whim for a game.

What better way to end years of futility than signing one of the all-time great leaders and winners in the sport?

Yeah, bring back all the idiot fans that stopped watching by signing a name like Jeter.  That’s what we want.  A stadium full of Ron Fitz’s.  Baseball isn’t a game won and lost by one guy.  He’s a winner because he’s a good ball player that plays on a team, year in and year out, stock full of some of the best in the game.

Would he consider playing for the Orioles?

No.  Seriously, consider the question you are asking.  Would a “winner” like Jeter leave the bright lights of New York for Baltimore?  I love this city, but it’s not for everyone.  Certainly not a guy used to dating actresses and super-models.

Would a “winner” like Jeter really leave a team that almost is guaranteed a spot in the play offs for a team that hasn’t broken .500 in over 10 years?  Are you fucking serious?

It’s time to find out.

The Orioles need to sign Derek Jeter.


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What If?

The way I look at this offseason; you have two parties.  The prudent group.  Grow the arms.  Buy the bats.  Wait until the time is right and strike with a big name player or two.  Or, you have the sell the farm.  Go for broke crowd.

Sure it’s not as cut and dry as this…it’s a bit of a generalization but that’s the way I want this hypothetical to play out.  So lets say, AM goes with the latter.

What if he spends 100 million on Beltre and Dunn and De La Rosa(All 3 to 5 year contracts)?  And let’s say, just for fun, he pulls of a miracle trade:  Tillman, Bell, and Hernandez for Adrian Gonzales.

And everyone calls this offseason a smashing success.  And we still get our asses kicked all around the AL East.

We’ve dug a pretty deep hole.  I can’t imagine AG would want to sign an extension with a team that is a bottom dweller even with all the talent.

Who gets blamed?  PA?  AM?  Buck?  How does the organization look the next 5 to 10 years?

I’m just curious because everyone seems to have the answer on how the team can win.  But they still have to the play the games.  The players still have to perform.  They play to win.  But what if they don’t?


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The question in baseball circles both local and national has been, What do we make of Buck’s influence on the Baltimore Orioles.  Pin-pointing the exact reason why the Orioles are on a nice little run right now seems to be more important than the actual winning itself.  Roch showed his frustration with the Buck-fixation (that rhymed).  It’s everywhere.

The reason in my opinion for this fascination was summed up perfectly by the one they call Frobby, at Orioles Hangout.  I don’t really feel cheated.  I feel disappointed, at the most.  Still, I’m just happy for the winning of late.  You know what it’s brought?  Less idiocy on that website for starters.  Positive talk about the O’s from all sources.  Let’s be honest, when your favorite team is getting the shit kicked out of them, the last thing you want to hear is how much shit is actually being kicked out of them by people paid to talk shit or casual fans that don’t know shit.

I’ve also, due to my upbringing in the, I’ll call it, New Baseball Era, never bought into the culture of losing, David Eckstien-gamer, intangibles thing.  Sure there are intangibles but when it comees down to it, the most talented team usually wins.  The most talented team is usually the most expensive as well.

It’s hard though to not notice a difference in the team that is somewhat inexplicable.  Buck says more Bullets.  The team says they are trying to prove themselves and borderline fear him.  Who’s to say who’s right or wrong?  No amount of analysis, at this point boarding on fucking it to death, will likely give the collective O’s fan-base an answer that fits into their baseball ideology, so lets just stop.

There…don’t you feel better?

Ok, so some analysis that I would like to focus on is that of our special guest radio and TV guys.  Boddicker and McDonald, the most recent, have been really fun to listen to.  Those guys know their shit.  They see things that the other guys either don’t or chose not to talk about.  The bonus?  Less time for Palmer to talk about himself, Flanny to snore into the mic, Hunter to suck some Oriole Bird pecker, and Thorne to butcher everything from pronunciation, calling a pitch, the count, to the actual sport he is watching.

Basically less airtime for the dickheads to fill.  I’d love to have Mel Proctor and John Lowenstein back.

Just look at that guy.  Awesome.  Plus, he’d surely fit in with the recent resurrection of the mustache.

Worth noting, I got no problems with the radio guys.

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Nuck if you Buck

At least one Hooligan will be at the game tonight.  Will you be there?

Buck’s debut.  Batting Stance Guy.  Pie T-Shirt.  Ollie’s Bargain Night.

What more do you want?


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Non-baseball Related Editorial

But it is Orioles related.  My buddy just passed me this music video.  Not my kind of music but it is a pretty gnarly video.  It even has unicorns fucking.

What I think this video teaches us is that if you watch the Orioles while tripping, it’s a better experience.  What do you think the video means?


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UPDATED: Before We Start Getting Too Buck Nasty

I saw this commercial last night and had to pass it on with my thoughts of how it could have been better.  Note: the sound isn’t great but it has graphics so it’s not needed.

Now instead of Kakes being the O’s representative, wouldnt it have been better if it was Tejada?

Miguel Tejada, currently has one hit off Niemann but it hit him the fucking chest, knocking him out of the game.

Niemann.  Tejada.  Who will own it?

The answer is no.  It wouldn’t.  Because there has never been such thing as a three team game which would have to happen for Miggy to appear in this one.  Good luck with the Whales Vagina Dads.  Enjoy that one post season series you will probably see.

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Switch Hitting Jesus?


But he’s like Moses or something.

How long until the first Buck Showalter Facts website starts up?

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“Hit The F’in Ball out the F’in Ballpark”

If you read my post from earlier today you understand why I might be wasting time on youtube looking at Earl Weaver videos.

I found this one:

I’m not sure it’s real.  It’s just hard to tell.  I mean, I know the dude was coarse but wow.  He’s like my new fucking idol.

Also how funny are his Terry Crowley comments?  Can you believe he’s still around?

But then I found this:

It’s incredible isn’t it?  Do you think Earl would have ever thought he’d be auto-tuned?  Fuck no.

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Manager of My Expectations

I work in the client service industry.  It’s all about giving the client an enjoyable experience.  Usually this means great product, on time, and on budget.  Other times it means kissing their ass.

A big part of this is managing expectations.  So at the last week before the non-waiver deadline, I’m stuck checking every baseball outlet every second I can, waiting for the big news.  We traded someone.  But, possibly more importantly, when are they going to announce a managerial hire?

See the trade deadline is a hard date.  I know when it ends.  I have to assume that Andy knows too.  And, with all the calls and interest we’ve been getting in Wiggy, Scott, Tejada, Guts, hell even Patterson, I have to assume that a deal will eventually happen.  At least one.  Hopefully.

But the manageraial search could go on forever.  How long does interim last?  It’s as long as you want it to be.  So I grow anxious.  I want something to happen.  Anything.  Andy has stated that he’s on his own timeline.  I get that.  But manage my expectations a little better.  Saying stuff like this doesn’t help:

“I said [previously it] could be days, could be weeks, could be months, could be years. I try to give myself the full spectrum. There are so many variables. I don’t know how the process is going to unfold.”


The only glimmer of hope I have is that he also said this after the 4 game sweep of the Rangers:

They’ll be critical of me because we have not declared on the manager yet. There’s nothing worse you can do to the media then hanging something out there that’s going to happen, one way or the other, whether Juan (Samuel) got full status or whether you bring someone in from external…Over the last three weeks the team has been playing a little over .500 and Juan is doing fine.

Juan is not doing fine. The team is 2-8 since the break.  Really carried that momentum over didn’t we?

His team isn’t playing baseball. They are playing stick ball on an East Baltimore street in 1962.  That’s the level we are playing at right now.  We even have Timothy, he’s a little “slow” my mom says, playing shortstop.  He can get in front of a grounder fine but he can’t hit a lick.

Now we head to Canada (stay out of trouble Adam) with a team waiting for us that is over .500 but only because they’ve played us 9 times.  In those 9 games we’ve been outscored 15-48.  We haven’t won any.  Who hates Canada even more now?  Me.

I’m a little torn on what exactly is the best timing to announce it for the sake of the team as a whole.  I know I want it announced 4 weeks ago, but I’m as selfish as Wiggin-ton.  Just thinking out-loud (to the internet) but couldn’t we announce the manager and say Juan is trying to earn his spot on the staff so he doesn’t totally give up.  The players are auditioning to keep their jobs (though this could back fire).  Not sure.  What do you think?  When will the O’s announce the new (or permanent, dear god no) manager?

Anyway.  With every minute that ticks by and nothing happens, my desire for the next minute grows by one Couric.  Should be a fun week.

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The O’s – A Bill Withers Odyssey

Don’t get me wrong.  When it’s the offseason, all I can do is think about you.

And every spring it’s like a fresh start.  Things feel right with the world.  I awake refreshed.  Rejuvenated.  Optimistic.

And then the inevitable.  Do you know what it’s like trying to defend you.  Especially after you get me in a crowd of people and act real rude to me?  Why can’t you love me like I love you?

My friends feel it’s their appointed duty to tell me that  I shouldn’t just let you walk on me.  But they don’t know what I know.

I want Showalter but when I passed Juan Samuel, he stared me down.  I looked at you and you looked at the ground.  Something in my heart and in your eyes, tells me he’s just not someone passing by.

Statements like this don’t give me much to look forward to:

They’ll be critical of me because we have not declared on the manager yet. There’s nothing worse you can do to the media then hanging something out there that’s going to happen, one way or the other, whether Juan (Samuel) got full status or whether you bring someone in from external…Over the last three weeks the team has been playing a little over .500 and Juan is doing fine.

The good news is, you are getting your ass kicked lately (really, good news?).  Sure the thriller in extras was fun.  But all you showed was you could ruin a perfectly decent night if it weren’t for Cesar doing something totally out of character (hitting).  And, how did you follow up that performance?  Another public humiliation.

But no matter what I do, at the end of the day…it’s just me and you.

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ESH Fantasy League

Most people’s trepidations about joining a fantasy baseball league is that they lose interest and stop paying attention.  I did.  And I’m getting my ass kicked because of it.

1. Det. Tom Ludlow 141.5
2. Gunnar Stahl 133
3. Big Kruk Hunter 121
3. theCAPSlock 121
5. I am an Idiot. 120
6. Wife Hates Baseball 111
7. It’s Business Time 106
8. Ghost of Joe Kelley 104.5
9. Just Doumit 101.5
10. Arrietable Underwear 99.5
11. Real Pit Beef 96
12. The Kekambas 86.5
13. Big Ben’s Wingmen 83.5
14. Wyld Stallyns 80.5
15. Kevin Lomax 72
16. Splice Today 54.5

Tom is still holding it down for us as a group though so suck it everyone else.  Charlie Conway is showing well and so are the hockey dudes.  Man, that’s embarrassing.  If nothing else, I still have one leg up on Russ and the Splice crew, though I have a feeling they aren’t paying attention either.

Seriously though, thanks for joining us in this endeavor.  It’ll be over soon.

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Complaining on the Internet

Some people think that complaining on the internet works.  While in some cases, sure, it can resolve issues.  Just ask the people over at the Consumerist.

But fixing a baseball franchise?  Nope.  Perfect example:

Don’t Bring Up Bell

This is a thread requesting the Orioles not call up Josh Bell to fill Matt Wieter’s empty slot.

Orioles Recall Bell

Pretty much sums it up doesn’t it?

You, me, and everyone else that thinks they can do a better job running a franchise than the current owner and GM will just have to deal with being spectators.

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As I sit on my couch watching the mid-summer classic, I decided to head over to the hangout.  Found an interesting article from Dan Connelly that basically refutes all the stuff that has been made public by this guy, this guy, and this douche bag.

I read the article, good nuggets.  Interesting perspective.  But then I start reading the comments in the thread.  It just boggles the mind.

This morning there were threads going about all the changes that would happen when Showalter gets here.  Who survives?  What coaches stay?  What players stay?  What happens to Samuel? I actually had to be the voice of reason in one thread and say, “Who said this is a done deal?  Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch.”

Flash forward to tonight and now the threads read MacPhail is slow!  Will the O’s botch the Showalter deal?  Who do we end up with if not Buck?

Calm the fuck down.  It’s just a fucking guy.  You people are sheep, man. You’re like man-sheep-pig. (It’s man-bear-pig, stupid)

No wonder the color coded terror system worked so well.  You people are in a constant state of fear and the media has got their dick so far up your ass you can’t tell what’s choking you; the possible bad news or the penis impaling you.

Maybe Dan’s right.  Maybe the other dudes are right.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.  Sure, some rides aren’t fun and make you throw up, but you’re the one that paid for a ticket and got on the damn thing.  No one put a gun to your head, did they?

Xanax should start selling ad space on the Hangout.

This All-Star game is like Ambien.

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Matt Vensel Thinks the All-Star System is Flawed

But for the wrong reason.

Ty Wigginton’s 2010 season is an inspiring tale of perseverance.

Really?  Hamilton has a good story, recovering from drug addiction to fulfill his potential.  Wigginton just wants to keep getting paid millions of dollars to play a kids game.

The 32-year-old journeyman hoped to earn a spot in the starting lineup in spring training, but was relegated to the role of pine-riding utilityman and high-five specialist when the Orioles signed Miguel Tejada and Garrett Atkins. He didn’t start the Orioles’ first four games.

Kind of where he should be.  On any other team in baseball he’d be a utility guy, maybe a little more.  But on our shitty ass team, he stands out like a shining star.

Then Wigginton got his chance when Brian Roberts went down, and the stocky slugger spent much of April and May bashing baseballs into the bleachers.

And mashing potatoes, part of his carb-only diet.

On Sunday, Wigginton was selected to his first All-Star Game — despite a frigid slump that has stretched from June into July and dropped his batting average to .251.

Most players don’t have season long hot-streaks.  Baseball is a game of ups and downs.

Is Wigginton a great story? You bet.

On a slow news day in a slow sports city?  You bet.

Worthy of a spot in the Midsummer Classic? Not really.


After an All-Star-caliber first quarter, Wigginton has hit just one home run in his last 36 games. And though his 14 homers and 44 RBIs are tops on the Orioles, they are well short of the league lead.

To be fair, he was leading the league in HR’s for a decent chunk of the first half, but like you said, he’s cooled off a bit.

Still, he will be the Orioles’ lone representative at the 2010 All-Star Game — the ninth time in 10 years they have sent just one — on July 13 in Anaheim, Calif. Even Wigginton said he had doubts about his qualifications.

“I was just shocked, actually,” he told The Baltimore Sun. “I feel like at this point, there are some guys having better years than me, both on the team and around the league. But obviously, we know somebody has to go from here, and it feels good that it’s me.”

And it should be Wigginton.

And that’s my biggest beef with this whole process. Somebody has to go from here, even though the last-place Orioles had 25 wins at the midway point and no one on the roster performed like an All-Star in the first half (except for maybe Jason Berken, but middle relievers don’t get much love).

Middle relievers are failed starters so no, they shouldn’t get rewarded for their failures in life.

It’s like the bassist from Nickelback winning a Grammy because he didn’t suck as badly as his bandmates.
Every team must be represented, so Wigginton and his feel-good story got the nod by default.

Finally someone agrees with me that Mike Kroeger is one of the all-time bassists.  I put him right up there with John Entwistle.

Seriously though.  I place the full blame of Matt Wieters second year issues on the fact that he comes to the plate to Nickleback.  Are they the worst band ever?

Meanwhile, five players who have better numbers and are contributors on winning teams — Paul Konerko, Nick Swisher, Delmon Young, Michael Young and Kevin Youkilis — are battling it out in a fan vote for the final spot on the American League roster.

Aside from Konerko here’s a case why all these guys shouldn’t be on the team:

Nick Swisher – check out his twitter.  He’s a shameless self-promoter and a douche.

Delmon Young – Remember this?

Michael Young – hitter friendly park.  Check out his home/away splits.

Kevin Youkilis – how many more Red Sox do you want on the team?

And while we’re talking about the fan vote, I think it’s a cool gimmick. But they should be picking the 25th best guy in each league instead of the 34th. These rosters are beyond bloated at this point. It’s like the Village People expanding to eight macho, macho men by adding a park ranger, an architect and an optometrist.

Wrong, sir.  I guess you didn’t get the memo that all the starting players are voted in by the fans.  Have you been to a game in person?  They hand out all-star ballots.  Have you used the internet?  There is a website where you can vote.  I’m not linking to it because you need to learn how to use google eventually.

This is the real problem with fan-voted all star teams, in any sport.

Why do you think Ichirio, Jeter, and Big Poopie make the team every year?  Because Asians, Yankee fans, and Red Sox fans out-number real fans by a huge margin.

Fans tune in to the All-Star Game to see baseball’s very best. They want to see players such as A-Rod and Albert Pujols — not obligatory All-Stars like Wigginton.

He might play one inning.  At the most.  If at all.  Sometimes, despite the mangers best efforts, not every player gets in the game.

Besides, you say fans tune in to watch A-Rod and Albie.  I say casual fans do.  I’m an Orioles fan, and I personally want to see an Oriole out-perform Gay-Rod.

Despite the screwed-up system that helped sneak Wigginton into his first All-Star Game, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ecstatic for him.

Liar.  You might have thought, “good for him” for two seconds and then went back to making things up about sports you don’t know anything about.

And hey, at least he’ll give the Orioles fans, who appreciate his hard work and humility, a thrill at next week’s game — even if it’s for just one at-bat.

He has played for five teams in his nine-year career, including the Orioles, the Pirates and the Rays (before they dropped the “Devil” and their losing ways). This guy has paid his dues.

Wigginton may not deserve to be there, but how could you not root for him?

I thought the whole idea on this post was that you weren’t rooting for him.  Imagine this article in conversation format:

Matt:  Hey Wiggy.  You got in the all-star game.

Wiggin-ton:  I know.  I’m a little shocked!

Matt:  Me too.  You don’t deserve it at all.  In fact, Konerko, the brothers Young, Youkilis, and Swish deserve it more.

Wiggin-ton:  Alright.  Unnecessary.

Matt:  But I’m fucking super pumped for you.  I’ll root for you but only because I live in Baltimore and my coming out of the bandwagon closet is still a few years off when I proclaim I’m a Rays fan!

Wiggin-ton:  Thanks, I guess.


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AATY: Fan of the Game Attempt

Last night, Johnny Eutaw, Tom Ludlow, and I attended the home run derby Orioles – A’s game.  It was a good time.

I expressed my love for Rajai Davis, as he is awesome.

Coco Crisp died, for no reason. We heard the thud from our seats.  It was brutal, again, for no reason.

I also, repeatedly, expressed my agreement with Samuel that Jones should be our All-Star rep as only RBI’s, HR’s, and being good right before the actual game matters.  We’re smart baseball people.  The rest of you are haters.

Then Johnny went hard after the fan of the game.  We really wanted those pretzels.

Alas, the cameras were uncooperative and despite some raucous supporters behind us, he got no Jumbo-time.

He did however get a few compliments on his custom ESH shirt and met the dude who runs 2131 and beyond.  I got a compliment on my shirt, but we don’t sell it…someone else does (you’re welcome).

Here’s a Matt Wieters Fact for you:  More often than not, he grounds meekly to a middle infielder.  Fucker.

Someday we’ll start printing our fabulous ideas on cotton.  Someday.



Filed under Adventures at The Yard

Unfamiliar Feeling

That’s a fucking winning streak folks.  For those of you not watching the O’s, we just took it to the Natinals minus Strasburg.  To those of you who are actually still watching, thanks.  The team needs us.

What?  Atkins isn’t on the team anymore?  That’s more fucking amazing news.  Long overdue I might add.

We have some guys coming back from injury.  Jones is coming around.  Wieters  hasn’t been as shitty as of late.  Dare I feel good about Orioles baseball?

And to top it all off, despite the breath sucking humidity that is mid-summer Baltimore, Camden Yards is still the shit.  Just ask our boy Jeff at Funkyball.  Who is that Jason character he’s talking about?

Oh shit.  Then there’s this.  The black cloud hanging over the warehouse.  Tony should take over MASN.  Dude knows how to market a story like crazy.  Thanks for bringing me crashing back down to earth.

I’m hoping Tom or Jjaks will throw their thoughts in the mix regarding the more technical side of the O’s as of late.  I’m sure they have an opinion on the roster moves that just happened or hopefully will happen.

I love you, O’s fans.  Even the stupid ones.

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Filed under General Posts