During Wednesday nights miraculous win against the Mariners Huff was sporting a manly mustache and B. Rob was growing a little flavor saver as well.
As Rod Kimble sa
id “All great men have mustaches!” But the lip tickler does come with a dark side. A manly soup strainer is a great source of power that can be used for both good and evil. Individuals such as Stalin, Yosemite Sam, and Robert Goulet have abused the mustache to gain power and strike fear in the hearts of their subordinates.
On the other hand American heroes like Navy SEALs, Michael Jordan, Tom Sellick, and Apollo Creed rock lip sweaters with ambivalence helping to secure the American dream.
Famous O’s of yesteryear (like Shaft Murray) rode their trusty lip dusters all the way to World Series glory in ’83. Unfortunately Raffy abused and tarnished the image of the modern Baltimore baseball mustache, but now is the time for a resurgence.
Recently the Cardinals pitching rotation have equipped themselves with a viscous arsenal of ‘staches and are racking up wins in the process. The miscues committed by Seattle leading to Wednesday’s victory can only be attributed (in my opinion) to the mysterious power of the dirt lip.
I for one hope that the trend catches on with the rest of the Birds. Even if it doesn’t help right the ship; as pointed out on SportsCenter today, “much like chimpanzees, mustaches make everything funnier.”
see you at the yard.
~Ted Logan
