Tag Archives: regis stanczak

New Position Added to Orioles Front Office!!!!

In what appears to be the most staggering information leak from an organization since Valerie Plame, the ESH have obtained classified documents from a source deep within the Orioles front office.

These documents reveal a secret position held by a Mr. Regis Stanczak.  Mr. Stanczak is believed to be working very closely with Andy MacPhail this off-season to assess possible acquisitions and trade opportunities.

If what I’m reading is true, his sole job is to troll around Orioles-centric blogs, fan sites, and  trade rumor sites to pillage the trade and free agent signing ideas from fans.  Once he has copy and pasted an idea from say, Orioles Hangout, he puts it in an email and sends it straight to Andy MacPhail.

But it’s not Andy’s work email.  It’s his fucking personal email!  Don’t you see what this means?!

Andy has hired some guy to rip off all your ideas!  Brilliant ideas too, like this one.  Or this one. Even really long, well backed up, and not boring at all hypotheticals like this one.  As if the dude doesn’t have enough to do, you want him to read all of that!?  No wonder nothing gets done during the off-season.

I implore you O’s fans, until we have more time to look into this dastardly bastard, stop posting all your great fucking ideas online!  Someone is actually reading them and sending them to the big boss!

As more details unfold we’ll be posting updates.  Until then, stay thirsty vigilant my friends.

~Kevin Lomax

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