Minor League Hecklers

We were in attendance for Brian Matusz start in Bowie Monday night.It was mustache night, so as we strolled in with half price tickets for having completely badass ‘staches the night was full of excitement. We made our way down to our seats by the dugout, walking confidently past the tens of people there to support the O’s AA affiliate. Our second row tickets put us right behind a few Baysox season ticket holders, which I didn’t even know existed.

That is when things went crazy, real crazy. We weren’t the only hecklers in attendance, we had competition. And since these guys were regulars they had no problem schmoozing with the staff at Prince Georges Stadium. An epic battle of one-upsmanship was about to ensue, I could feel the excitement building. O's Face

They struck the first blow, and we were speechless. For the first time in my heckling career I was embarrassed to be a heckler. These guys were awful. We were at a AA game and they needed to be sent back the instructional league. They used the same heckle for every player. You gotta learn to mix up your pitches fellas. Asking every player that can hear you why they haven’t gotten the call up yet is totally weak.

Almost as entertaining as these fools attempting to heckle was to hear their talks about baseball in general. Ranging from Halladay (“give up the farm”, and by farm I mean “whoever they want no matter what if you are the Phillies”) to basing predictions on careers of major leaguers on 100 minor league at bats. Sample size? Don’t waste your time with that nonsense. I sat in my seat and not a heckle left my mouth the entire night. I was dumbfounded with every word these guys uttered. I guess I expected more but instead I got proof that even hecklers need to go through the ranks and work their way up to the show. I heard one of them say that they may make the trip to OPACY to see Tillman Wednesday. I’ll be there and I’m letting you know now, you are fair game to be heckled yourself.  This is the big leagues son, you have to come correct. And you are not worthy of a September call up, let alone a jump straight from AA in July.Not Rich Hill

I have to give them credit for one thing though. They were at the game and they clearly love their team which is the most important part. But next time, leave your glove at home…

~Jjaks Clayton


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