Taking a break from Warehouse-gate to say…

Congrats Tex.  Don’t worry about those dudes holding signs.  They don’t know shit about you.  You’re the man.  So what if they call you a hypocrite, sell-out, soulless bastard.  They’re just jealous.

All you did was play the “game”.  Not baseball…the other “game”.  Tell Yankee fans you were a Yankee fan.  Tell O’s fans you were an O’s fan.  It’s like Survivor.  You have to have a strategy, man.  They don’t just give the million bucks to the nicest, emaciated, dirtball.  You gotta earn that shit.

And you did earn that shit.  All 22.5 million.  You know what you can do with that much money?  You can buy shit.  Tons of it.  A big ass house for all your shit, too.  Like all your sports equipment.  Then you can buy a big ass car to haul your shit around town.  You could have a 22.5 million dollar parade right through downtown Severna Park.  What do you care?  You still have another 157 million coming your way.  That’s buy a country type money.

You can buy a country, then declare war on Severna Park.  You can form a coalition of the obscenely rich with CC, AJ, Arod, and Derek.  You guys can just take over the world, one small town at a time, until everyone is a Yankee fan.  Send them to internment camps where they watch Yankee footage like A Clockwork Orange. If they don’t take to the “treatment” you give ’em a frontal lobotomy.  That’ll teach ’em to question our supreme ruler, King Texiera.

You won a World Series man.  You’re untouchable.  You’re the man.

Who’s first in line for the lobotomy?

It’s painless, I swear.

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