Monthly Archives: December 2009

BREAKING: Yankees and Red Sox are Rich.

A lot is being made about the Yankees winning the world series and still making some good moves to get even better.  And for every Yankee action, there is an equal Red Sox reaction.

barf

And for all those actions and reactions, there is an Oriole shit-fit-over-reaction.

Don’t worry about the monetary disparity between the major market teams and the mid and low market teams.  With all this time complaining you could have been out there, cutting their team bus’ brake lines.  You could have been bribing mafia to strong-arm managers into throwing games (just think of all the money their bookies could make!).  You could be lining up for autographs just waiting for the perfect time to Tanya Harding the shit out of A-Rod.

Now look…I’m not suggesting you actually do any of this stuff (touches finger to nose).  In no way am I saying go out and try to harm Yankee players and coaches (winks).  Just because it’s the ONLY WAY THE ORIOLES WILL WIN ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP, doesn’t mean it’s right for you to do (hands reader crow bar).

You really want to help the team?  Tail Rosenthal to an interview and have the production assistant give you the water that he was planning on giving to Big Poopie and spike it with arsenic.  Just kidding.

Spike Rosenthal’s.

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Me > Andy Macphail

I traded a bottle of liquor that I got in a company gift exchange to the owner of the company for an authentic Baltimore road jersey.

The person that picked my gift at random ended up already having it and offered it to me.  I will be returning this gift to get my money back.

For those of you keeping score:

I can return the gift I bought and get $20 back.

Which means I technically got a free bottle of liquor.

Which means I traded a free bottle of liquor for a $200 jersey.

Erik Bedard trade?  PPSSSHHH.  Child’s play.

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JTrea Made Me Pee My Pants

Sometimes you see something that makes you pee your pants laughing, like the scene from Billy Madison about peeing your pants turned into a Mentos commercial.

Other times something you see might make you pee your pants out of the inextricable fear that some people can drive cars or vote or procreate.  Today, for me, it was the latter.

A fellow that goes by the handle of JTrea81, over at OH said something today that pushed me over the edge with that guy.

I'm not the best out of the group at photoshop.

Over the past few months he has said some outlandish things.  Things that lead many to block him.  Things that have him rated as public enemy # 2 (Nestor will always be # 1).  His behavior even prompted an outcry by some readers to suggest that moderators have him banned for such ridiculous statements.

Today, in a thread discussing whether any more of the skeptical O’s fans trust MacPhail more after the winter meetings, he said this:

The guy has always made excellent trades for the Orioles, that is without question.

However there’s one thing he has yet to do, and that’s to land a top player that is being pursued by other competitive clubs via trade or FA.

He can build a winning team, but can he build one to compete in the AL East with the Yankees and Red Sox? The jury is still out on that one.

He made a comment tonight in his presser for the Millwood trade. He said something like “we need to forget the division we are in and just concentrate on getting better.”

Forgetting we are in the AL East is the last thing we need to do IMO. We absolutely have to keep track of Boston and New York because the playoffs go through them. We may not be at their level yet, but eventually we have to get there.

I’m not sure MacPhail can or WANTS to do what is neccessary to do that.

I’ll leave the spelling error for accuracy  so you reader(s) (Hey, Ted!), who may not have seen this post on OH, can get an accurate portrayal as to just how much lunacy is involved in those statements.  I’ve also taken the liberty of italicizing the crazy parts and bolding the fucking crazy part and I capitalized the word that takes the statement from fucking crazy to “I’M SPEECHLESS TO THE POINT OF SORROW”  CRAZY.

Was that last thing serious, Trea?

One can argue the semantics about the Orioles place in the AL East.  Are we actually a mid-market team based on income?  How much do the O’s really make from MASN?  Is the only way to win the AL East to act like the Yankees and Red Sox or can you go the way of the Rays?

But to question whether a general manager (who reports to the owner) wants to WIN GAMES is fucking beyond words.  Winning makes money.  More money than losing.  If the owner’s only goal was to make money, he’d still make more money by winning.

It’s the same argument about a player not having a “winning” attitude or a team having a “culture of losing”.  Players will make more money by fucking winning too!

I can’t stand the bullshit anymore from some of you, mainly Trea.  You are the culture of losing.  You fans who complain incessantly and only have negative things to say.  You skeptical, whinny,  insane douche bags.

I’m not saying blindly bow to every decision but why do you even root for or follow a team that you seem to have so much disdain for?  Have you nothing better to do with your life than to sulk behind your computer and be miserable?

The Orioles will never fill the hole you have in your soul.  Maybe it’s time to consider a new hobby or a new team.

I hear the Nationals are a top-notch organization and they aren’t too far away.

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O’s needs – follow up

The O’s need:

A power hitter in the middle of the line up.

A first baseman if Snyder isn’t ready/doesn’t pan out.

A third baseman if Bell isn’t ready/doesn’t pan out.

A leader in the rotation.  Check.  Kind of.

A closer.

A new color commentator, preferably one who doesn’t sound like a drunk Bill Cosby.

Can this be the last time that list is created, please?  It’s well documented . Everyone knows where the holes are.

Move on.

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