Crustaceans Make Me Nauseous

I’m curious like a cat.  That’s why my friends call me Whiskers.  But this time, my curiosity didn’t kill me.  I just ended up really sad.

Orioles and Lobster.  A view from a [sic] Orioles fan deep in the heart of Red Sux Nation.

He must have originally been from Baltimore.   The sity that reeds and spels.  Professionalism goes a long way to giving you credibility.

I’m going to start with his revival post and through the week, we will be going through each of his posts since then.

Back in Black and Orange

Nice AC/DC reference.

Well folks, I decided to revive this blog and one of the main purposes is that there aren’t enough blogs out there that are holding Andy MacPhail accountable for his actions or lack there of in rebuilding the Baltimore Orioles.

Oh how we wish you hadn’t.  What is a blog going to do in terms of keeping AM accountable?  Do you think he reads any of this crap?  No dude.  I bet he rarely reads newspapers because as my good buddy Russ Smith pointed out, “Newspapers are dead, man.”  He probably reads scouting reports and other things related to DOING HIS JOB!

This is just another place where you can type your insane ramblings.  I thought you were onto a good thing when I read the title of your blog and the idea behind it, grammar errors and all.  You could have had yourself a nice little niche there.  Reporting on how the O’s are viewed by our northern neighbors.  Reporting on the goings on of the Red Sox and NESN.  You have access that most down here don’t…you get to hear other commentators talk trash about us, not just our own!  But no…you couldn’t do that.  You had to beat that drum didn’t you?

Your blog shall now be renamed.  Orioles and Lobster – I’m Not Sure Which Makes Me More Nauseous.

So don’t expect any orange colored glasses here.

C’mon Elton!  Don’t hold out on us.

I’m not going to tell you Brandon Snyder is going to be a power hitter at the ML level and will be our 1B man for the next decade.

That’s a pretty pessimistic outlook.  You say you like the Orioles?

And don’t expect to hear that Chris Tillman is going to suddenly figure out how to get ML hitters out at the same rate he did in the minors without throwing a high fastball.

Tillman did pretty well last year in his time in the majors right?  Sure his HR’s were high but I thought he looked promising.  Besides, isn’t the major league tougher than the minor league?  Isn’t the kid only 22?  You said you were an O’s fan right?

No, here you will get the other side, the side that sees MacPhail signing Garrett Atkins as our big RH cleanup bat because he could get him on the cheap.

Um…I think our big right handed clean up hitter will be Reimold, Jones, or Wieters.  Why don’t we give these guys a chance?  We’re not going to win the World Series this year.  Why do we need to shell out a ton on a contract to basically have the first year wasted?

And the fact [that] MacPhail has never signed a big FA bat to put his club into contention and likely never will.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat.  Oh yeah, he also has two World Series rings.  No big deal.

Or the fact that he is so obssessed [sic] with pitching that he has neglected to stock our minor league system with impact bats and yet refuses to trade all of that pitching he’s stockpiled.

Pitching always defeats hitting.  Every fucking 10 year old knows this.  Great pitching always beats great hitting.

Besides, you just questioned Tillman’s ability to be a major league pitcher.  Who do you want us to trade?  And then who do we have left that’s a proven starting pitcher?  I mean if we had a full rotation and Bergy, Matusz, Tillman, Arrieta, Erbe, Hobgood, Patton, Hernandez, and Britton were all proven major league pitchers, then sure, I can understand trading a few.  But we don’t know about them yet.  If you think Tillman can fail, what about the rest of them?

Oh wait, you want us to shell out a billion dollars on a pitcher who blows his arm out in the first year of the contract.  Good plan.

Somebody’s got to hold MacPhail accountable for this and demand that he do better.

He doesn’t give a fuck what you think. I can’t be more clear about this.

For those calling for the heads of MacPhail, Angelos, and Trembley, let me remind you:

  1. You have no influence over whether MacPhail stays or leaves.  Nor should you.  You’re dumb.
  2. You have no influence on Angelos selling the team (example: Free the Birds).  He makes too much money and he doesn’t care what you think.
  3. You have marginal influence on whether they fire Trembley.  You can yell and scream and shit (literally, shit…it’s the best way to show someone you are really upset…just let it all go, right in your pants) and you might get lucky that MacPhail happens to witness your temper tantrum.  It’s about as much influence as a third base coach has on a game (Zing!).

If it’s just me at least somebody is doing it.

I bet PA does a pretty good job at keeping him accountable, as he is his boss.   Straight off the twitter wire:

UnPeterAngelos in reply to
@eutawhooligans I run my professional baseball team the way I want. You run yours the…oh wait: You don’t own a team. Because you’re poor.

Our players and you fellow fans deserve more than what we are getting.

And you’re going to get it for us!  We’re saved!

You’re welcome for the increased traffic.  Maybe one day you’ll get to our level (about 8 readers a week).

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3 Comments

Filed under General Posts

3 responses to “Crustaceans Make Me Nauseous

  1. Reggie Hammond

    Spot on, 100%. Simply awful.

    Have you read the latest?

    • Which latest? It’s a never ending up hill battle to the death with that dude.

      Also thanks for participating in this little experiment we call Orioles fandom. It’s a rough ride.

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