Fast Eddie

In today’s biggest worldwide news, the Natinals have released relief pitcher Eddie Guardado.

I have already written and mailed 47 letters to the Orioles front office demanding that he be signed and brought to camp as soon as possible. Guardado is an incredible talent, and a beacon of physical fitness. He is the epitome of all that is man. Guardado has been a top notch closer and while he has taken a step back the last couple of seasons he is still absolutely lights out vs left handed hitters. For his career, lefties have put up a .228/.273/.372 line against Guardado, and he has handled them with a cool 4.27 strikeout to walk ratio. This dominance and his experience as a shut down closer automatically make him far better than any of our other LOOGY options. His “veteran” skills are off the charts, the O’s love that. Bring him to camp Andy Mac, you know you want to.

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Just kidding , we have enough fat guys already. Though I’m pretty sure Eddie’s mother is the creator of one of my favorite things in the world. If they offered me free Cholula hot sauce for life I may change my stance.

Speaking of fat guys, did anyone see this video of 5th overall pick Matt Hobgood?

I knew the kid was supposed to be thicker but I did not expect Sidney Ponson’s fatter brother to show up. This is after they were talking up how hard he worked to get in BETTER shape for this year.  After some research, I decided he is in far better shape after seeing last year’s photo:

Tyler Matzek is looking better and better…

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