Adventures at the Yard: Weekend Edition

As you know, Opening Day wasn’t too eventful.  But, come Saturday the Hooligans were back in their usual spot (Section 4) with Errol, the usher.  Things felt much better atmospherically and we were able to cheer & heckle for the first time in the ’10 season.  This time around though we weren’t heckling Bautista, but instead…this guy to the right.  Some cat with Eugene Levy-esque eyebrows wearing a Boston cap.  We heckled him for that reason alone, but the real kicker came when he attempted to lead the cheers in our section.  Baffling.  And, annoying. He was also wearing his jacket tied around his waist, which obviously isn’t cool and we let him know it.

On a cooler note, a friend of a friend won “Fan of the Game.”  Naturally, we moved to her row, as no one but her mother and herself were sitting there, for the free pretzel.  Everyone followed suit, until the row was full.  It worked out nicely.  While the chick handed out the pretzel coupons, some old hussie in the row in front of us tattled!  Lucky for us, the pretzel chick didn’t give a single shit, so we all enjoyed some cinnamon-sugar goodness.  The older chick then informed us she was an 8th grade teacher and going to use us as an example for cheaters.  We informed her we were “cheaters” that enjoyed some delicious free pretzels.  Saturday’s game was full of lame asses.

Sunday’s game was nice, weather-wise.  The action was nice to start, then took a turn for the worst as shot after shot took a trip to Souvenir City and we ended up losing our 5th game of the season (not to mention the sweep by the Jays).  Being without other Hooligans, I chose to express myself through the art of dance, instead of heckle.  My sultry moves to Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA,” didn’t even warrant a Jumbo-tron look.  But, I’m sure someone in proximity was aroused.

Second to lastly, speaking of arousal, Markakis is still the jam.  While not reflected in the overrated batting average statistic, the Greek stud is projected to have 243 walks.  That’s ridiculous and surely not going to happen.  But, because of this early, impressive stat, I’ve crudely photoshopped him for the ladies (and some dudes.)  That’s good body.

In finality, there will be some Hooligans at the game tonight.  Section 4.  Feel free to join us or fall victim to my gyration.



Filed under General Posts

3 responses to “Adventures at the Yard: Weekend Edition

  1. avi m

    lol those pretzels were so good. i thought the teacher lady said it was 3rd graders.

    in response to her question asking if we would feel good about ourselves doing that, i could only say this:

    “yes, my stomach will feel very good about me doing this.”

  2. Johnny Eutaw

    Regardless of the grade she taught, she sucked. But, damn those pretzels were sensational. Looking forward to exploiting the system more when the birds fly home to play the ultimate in douche-baggery.

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