The twitters and blogosphere have been all abuzz about a few changes coming to the O’s this season that have nothing to do with the line-up or pitching staff. These changes probably won’t lead to any discernible difference in the record either but, for some reason, they seem to be very polarizing. I’m here to reunite everyone and get us all back on the same side. Please keep in mind that this time of the year is often a slow time for reporters so they’ll make a big deal out of just about anything so they can fill their papers, blogs, and twitters up with stuff. Not to mention the media’s penchant for sensationalism but that’s a too much to deal with for this post.
First, the return of National Bohemian to Camden Yards. Some might say, “Don’t call it a come back, I’ve been here for years“, and they’d be right. Natty Boh cans have been in the park for a while now. But we’re talking draft baby. It makes a huge difference.
My two cents: Sure this makes no difference in the win/loss record but I like to see our city hold onto things that are a part of our social experience and when the Orioles help do that, it’s even better. As one tweeter put it, “I tell my friends from out-of-town to have one for the experience, and then move on.” That’s perfectly fine. Have you ever had a hub-cap margarita at Nacho Mama’s? One of the biggest band’s in Baltimore (that you’ve probably never heard of) has a new album out, and guess what it’s called.
The other reason I’m for it is that it relinks us to Orioles teams of the past. It reminds us of better times. Some people aren’t for nostalgia but I am. A night sitting on someone’s front porch or by a bonfire, just talking about stupid shit we did back in the day is probably one of the best ways to spend a night. I feel home.
And just because it isn’t brewed here, doesn’t mean it’s not linked forever to our city. Besides, leaving Baltimore is one of the easiest ways to tie you to this city. Maybe it’s our inferiority complex. Ask Jim Irsay. Edgar Allen Poe’s “five years in Philadelphia have been described as the happiest of his life.” Babe Ruth left Baltimore and ended up with the dreaded Red Sox and Yankees but we still have a Babe Ruth museum.
Anyway, if you don’t like it, don’t fucking drink it.
And now we move on to the other social change; facial hair. Yes, the days of Yankee-esque grooming laws have been abolished, kind of. Showalter has reportedly relaxed the facial hair policy to accommodate Derek Lee and Vlad Guerrero. It’s kind of funny that two players can join the team and finally put this shit to an end considering Kevin Millar couldn’t. Maybe if he were the caliber player they were, he might have had more success in that venture.
As a bearded man myself, I’m for it. Plus I always thought it was so arbitrary. Now I’m not a born and bred baseball player. I never played competitively so I understand there is a certain, I don’t know, ideal that some of these purists have. I don’t share it. Jjaks played competitively and he seems to be for the ban. I’ll let him explain if he likes. Qweenofdiamonds is for it too but I don’t think she played competitive baseball.
I want our team to be loose. I want our guys having fun. And I want our guys to have some attitude. If having a little facial hair will help these players relax or whatever it makes them feel, I’m for it. Clearly, players don’t like having to shave or this wouldn’t be such a big deal. For proof, take a look at the latest pictures from the Baltimore Sun. I’d say almost every player is taking advantage in some way. I say give the players as little to think about other than mashing the shit out of the ball.
It seems the relaxed policy has made its way to the top of the head too. Mark Reynolds is looking very California with his long blonde hair. Matusz looks like he hasn’t had a hair cut since last season. I’m thinking he’s superstitious and not trying to break the hot streak he was on. Whatever it is…I’m for it. I don’t like my ball players all looking the same.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, “why does Lomax care so much about how his players look?”, and let me clear this up for you real quick. I don’t. I want them to be loose and I want them to win. That’s all that matters.
And I’m Tom Ludlow’s lover.