At least two of us recently had a Boondock Saints style dream about bringing back the best baseball blog ever….
but our attempts to summon the return of Fire Joe Morgan failed once again. So, we are at least temporarily bringing back our shitty blog. We realize what a huge step down this is for the 5 of you that used to read this.
We didn’t actually even contact anyone about FJM, I made that part up.
If you’re reading this, you know that we have been gone for a while. It’s true, while the Orioles were good it was very difficult for us to get on here and write columns bitching and making fun of the organization, the fans, the players, and basically anything Orioles related that made the news. We were enjoying the successful run like any fans should have and the news was mostly good news. Who wants to read fluff about how peachy everything about the Orioles is, especially from a bunch of foul mouthed assholes like us? Nobody does, and we didn’t want to write it either. There was plenty of it everywhere else.
Things are about to change. There’s a familiar stench that appears to be making it’s way to Baltimore this offseason. The stench of mediocrity. I think all Orioles fans can agree that the current team as constructed is not good enough to be championship caliber team. The starting pitching is atrocious and our lineup contains several holes that have no obvious solutions in house. The free agent market is going nuts with the extra revenue teams have available and Orioles ownership doesn’t appear inclined to join in the fray. The organization also does not appear inclined to trade any currently valuable players for future value. Most people would call for them to pick a street, however there really is only one path for them to go down right now. They just prefer to stand still. It’s clear the organization has no plans to significantly increase payroll and the current roster is already near the maximum amount ownership is willing to spend. Without supplementing the current core with free agent talent there is no chance to compete with them. They have to be preparing to compete with the next wave of players.
The problem is there isn’t an obvious new wave of players, and the Orioles don’t seem to have any motivation to get them. There’s nothing in the high minors past Kevin Gausman, Dylan Bundy, and Jon Schoop that look to make any kind of impact at the major league level soon. There’s no shortage of questions about Schoop, Gausman struggled mightily, and Bundy is returning from major injury. The major league team isn’t that good, and the farm system is even worse by all accounts. Despite what appears to be obvious, I have major doubts that we see anything happen that will be considered a surprise. I foresee the Orioles basically going through the motions of an offseason just like they did last year. Holes will be plugged with cheap filler and we’ll pray for a repeat of the miracle that was 2012. Analysts called for regression after 2012 for a reason, it was one of the luckiest seasons a team has had in any sport. 2013 was more representative of the actual talent level of this team, and right now the Orioles are clearly worse than they were at the end of 2013. I’m ready for a long 2014, as this team falls back towards the back of the division and doesn’t improve for the years after 2014 either. Remember what it was like before 2012? We sure as hell do.
It’s not all bad. Writing and making jokes about it is always fun. The empty stadium is always a good time. It’s fantastic when the opposing players can actually hear everything we say and interact with us. We’ll also be able to buy cheap tickets and sit wherever we want again.
The biggest bonus of all? No more conversations about baseball with people who don’t actually like baseball and have no fucking clue what they’re talking about. That was absolutely my least favorite part of the Orioles brief winning ways. I have no tolerance for idiots, and I know the other fellows on this blog agree with me on that.
We should be writing a little bit here and there for at least a little while. We welcome all 4 of our former readers to start checking the blog for updates and maybe commenting if you’re feeling froggy.