Author Archives: Tom Ludlow

Ain’t no offseason like an Orioles offseason

HEY! HO!

It wouldn’t be an off-season in Baltimore without massive amounts of fan unrest. This year, it seems they are trying to outdo themselves. After falling one game short of the ALCS in 2012, the Orioles had a quiet off-season, much to the chagrin of Orioles fans everywhere. They had no inclination to  take the next steps necessary to take the 2012 team to the next level. With all of the luck that came in 2012, it wasn’t hard to see the 2013 regression coming. Continue reading

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Best Friends Forever

A sad day is upon us. While Brian Roberts has clearly not been worth the big contract extension the Orioles signed him to, just like a few before and after him, he was a bright spot on the team when there weren’t many. In 2005, Brian Roberts was the 6th best player in baseball by WAR. He also average 4.0 WAR between 2003-2009. Brian Roberts has been a very good player for the Orioles. As someone who did not discover their love for baseball until adulthood in the early 2000s, Brian Roberts was immediately one of my favorite players. Players of small stature are also dear to me, for obvious reasons. Brian Roberts as a baseball player tugged at my heart strings. Continue reading

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The definition of insanity

Orioles fans are up in arms in yet another episode of the Baltimore Orioles offseason. I’m still not sure what everyone expected. They’ve shown this same episode every year for quite a while now. Do these people watch re-runs of TV shows and then get upset that the ending doesn’t change? If they didn’t spend money coming off a playoff birth in 2012, why would they do it now coming off of a 2013 season in which the team regressed to it’s actual talent level? Continue reading

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Oooooo that smell, can’t you smell that smell?

At least two of us recently had a Boondock Saints style dream about bringing back the best baseball blog ever….

but our attempts to summon the return of Fire Joe Morgan failed once again. So, we are at least temporarily bringing back our shitty blog. We realize what a huge step down this is for the 5 of you that used to read this.

We didn’t actually even contact anyone about FJM, I made that part up. Continue reading

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Trade Target: Chase Headley

Yeah, we don’t write much anymore and I haven’t written in a long time. Come to think of it, it was right around the time I started banging your mother! BOOM!

Anyone who has been watching the Orioles this season knows that 3rd base has been an absolute train wreck defensively. Mark Reynolds clearly has the yips and shits himself whenever a ball is hit in his direction so he isn’t trusted there even when he isn’t hurt. Wilson Betemit is somehow even worse than that.  He has the range of Derek Jeter with hands made of what I believe to be stale bread. Ryan Flaherty looks like he can’t hit himself out of a wet paper bag.  Bill Hall appears to have spent a good portion of the last few months eating other people, and Steve Tolleson is Steve fucking Tolleson. Continue reading

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Brilliant!

Fuck the wave!

In case you haven’t seen it elsewhere, the Texas Rangers are taking a hard stand against the travesty that is the wave. Every ballpark should be adopting a similar position. We need to make this happen at the yard, even though all the empty seats usually do it for us.

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EriK the dick

Tonight’s Orioles game is interesting enough for me to stay up to watch the whole thing. The Orioles are in the midst of a very typical 4 game losing streak in which the starting pitching has been awful and the offense has completely disappeared. The bullpen on the other hand has actually been pretty solid. Funny how this game works isn’t it? So why the hell would I want to watch tonight’s game? Continue reading

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