Author Archives: Kevin Lomax

My Fake Interview with the Bundy Bros

Last night, at approximately 6pm, the Bundy’s joined me for a quick chat at the McDonalds on Eastern Ave.  I don’t know why, but that’s where they picked.

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The Mark Reynolds – Garrett Atkins Comparisons Should End

Raise your hand if you were jumping for joy when we signed Garrett Atkins last year.

Ok.  No one.

Now raise your hand if you were jumping for joy when we traded for Mark Reynolds.

Hmm.  No one.  Well this guy.  Most of you were just nodding your heads slightly in approval.  A tempered optimism.  How could you have more than that?  All you heard for the next 5 months was “200 strike outs” and “strike out king” (whoops, we were guilty of that one too).

So Mark is struggling and there are plenty of theories why.  A new league.  Lingering affects from injury last year.  An overhaul in approach to appease the strikeout cry babies.  The reason doesn’t matter.  He’s struggling.

Now here are the reasons he and Garrett Atkins are not the same:

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Really Tha Siduation? Really?

Why do our relievers hate winning?  You may remember Kevin Gregg recently said some dumb shit.  No?  Read it here.

Well it appears to have rubbed off on Mike “Tha Save Siduation” Gonzalez.  Roch has the full story but I’d like to offer my commentary, well, because some of you assholes like to read it.  Let’s get into it.

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Pickles for Opening Night O’s Baseball

BE THERE!

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Things That Annoy Me – Strikeouts

That’s a bit misleading.  Because I don’t hate strike outs.  I dislike them, sure.  It’s an out.  But it’s no worse an out than a ground out unless a runner could have been advanced or something like that but still…

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As the World Turns: Baltimore

Well holy shit.  BmoreBirdsNest alerted me to some drama taking over the obscure (yeah I said obscure) Baltimore Sports Media scene.

@BmoreBirdsNest – This is a day early April Fool’s joke, right? RT @WNST: Nestor: An indictment: Royle v. WNST lawsuit http://bit.ly/fLAdDq

Holy shit!  Are you serious?  I have no idea, as the article doesn’t get into the specifics or repost the actual lawsuit, what the deal is here.  It looks to be like some cat-fighting, he-said she-said stuff.  Some costly cat-fighting.  $800k!

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MLB 2011 Haters Guide: American League

Yesterday we gave you the NL preview.  Today the AL.  I hope you didn’t take it too seriously and yes, we know it’s a rip-off of the Deadspin Haters guide to other things but we prefer, homage.  Anyway, here again is Conor O’neill.

OMG, Opening Day is so close I can smell ESPN’s musty montages.  And John Kruk.  In preparation for this week’s openers, we have to explore the American League teams, for hate’s sake.  Hopefully, this season keeps our attention so we won’t be forced to click over to the NBA Finals.  Now back to the show….

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MLB 2011 Haters Guide: National League

My good friend Connor O’neil, who you’ve seen in the comments section as Sox fan in hiding, took the time to layout a reason for why you should hate every team in baseball this year.  Consider this a handy pocket guide while heckling at inter-league games.  Keep in mind that it’s just for fun and not everything should be taken seriously.  The Marlins aren’t gay and Pujols is probably worth every penny as much as the gross national debt…so don’t get your panties in a twist.  Enjoy.

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Some Things to Nibble On

Jjaks swears he’s going to put up the TWIT for this week tonight so you can read that tomorrow.  Also have something from a guest coming up soon.  Until then…

Cuts!  We have cuts today.  Most are from the not surprising category.  Reimold to re-slay AAA pitchers.  Hendrickson is gone.  Winn is gone.  This is awesome by the way:

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Things That Annoy Me: Best Bad Ball Hitter

I’m sure most (some) of you expected me to cover twitter arguments in this weeks edition as yesterday was chock full o’ them.  But I’m not going to beat a dead horse.  Or a TV personality.  Our last twitter exchange, the one before I was blocked, should pretty much put the nail in that coffin.

What we’ll focus on instead is the incessant repeating of Vlad Guerrero’s reputation for being “the best bad ball hitter” of all time, by everyone on TV or radio that utters his name.  I think it’s been worse because it’s spring training and everyone needs to talk about the acquisitions this off season, but I don’t anticipate a big drop off once the season starts.  In the last week or so I’ve heard Joe Angel, Fred Manfra, Gary Thorne, Mike Flanagan, John Kruk, Karl Ravech, Jon Hart and the rest of the 30 in 30 team at MLB Network talk about it.

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UPDATED: This Week In Twitter: March 13 – 20

TWIT is going to be an every Monday thing instead of an every Saturday thing from now on.  Mark your calendars sheep.

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Things that Annoy Me: Forum Behavior

Online forums can be a great source of information, community, and headache…all at the same time.  The biggest issue is that it’s difficult for almost everyone to articulate their thoughts and feelings accurately in the written word, when so much of tone, body language, and sarcasm can’t be portrayed or at the very least, is difficult.  Unless they made a sarcasm font, which I’ve repeatedly appealed to Steve and Bill to do.

So clearly you have the major issues like trolls and other idiots that are the equivalent of talking to brick walls.  But, there are subtle annoyances in forums that everyone knows but are likely, too afraid or apathetic to say anything about.  Well, I don’t care.  I’m going to say it.

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Son of a

Through a series of unfortunate and untimely miscommunications, misreadings, or mistakes I, Kevin Lomax, will be missing spring training this year.

I’m not going to get into all the details but suffice it to say.  I’m fucking bummed out.

So while I have this bit of frustration forming a little ball in my chest, I’d like to take a minute to address something that has been brought up in recent weeks; our penchant for cussing.

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Det. Tom Ludlow is On the Scene

Keep an eye out for Tom’s twitter feed.  He’s doing some top notch investigative tweeting while in Florida.

I, thankfully, will be joining him on Friday.  I’m sick of this Maryland weather.

Favorite tweets so far:

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Social Change

The twitters and blogosphere have been all abuzz about a few changes coming to the O’s this season that have nothing to do with the line-up or pitching staff.  These changes probably won’t lead to any discernible difference in the record either but, for some reason, they seem to be very polarizing.  I’m here to reunite everyone and get us all back on the same side.  Please keep in mind that this time of the year is often a slow time for reporters so they’ll make a big deal out of just about anything so they can fill their papers, blogs, and twitters up with stuff.  Not to mention the media’s penchant for sensationalism but that’s a too much to deal with for this post.

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More Email Fun

This time with someone offering us money. Enjoy.

Before we start, I’d like to note that we don’t email in blue.  I changed it so you, our readers, could more easily separate who’s saying what.

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Coward

Not to be confused with Cowherd but I can see how the two can be tricky to separate.  So this week we’ve been having a polite back and forth with Jaime Shoemaker (aka Name Redacted Shoemaker).  To get yourself caught up, if you aren’t already, start here and then go here.

Caught up?  Good.  Lets press on.

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Blogging Adventures in Turdland

As many of our readers are fully aware, new blogs pop up every day. There are so many to keep track of.  The lifespans of these blogs vary greatly.  Some die as quick as they were born.  Others live full and bountiful lives.

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Accountability

I don’t know much about the structure they have over at the Baltimore Sun as far as sports writers go.  I know their main O’s guys are Connolly, Zrebiec and Gould and Jones Jr. (I know very little about those last two).  Then you have Schmuck who seems a general sports writer covering the O’s and the Ravens.  KVV is in there somewhere too. MASN clearly has Steve, Roch, Amber, and the always Boston, always hypocritical Royle.  Matt Venzel chimes in over at B the site.

But, most recently we’ve had run-ins with two wanna-be-Kornheiser types.

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That Eye Sore is Hurting My Ass

If you’ve been to Oriole Park, or driven into the city from 295, or watched a game on TV, or live in Baltimore and felt this strange soreness in your ass over the last few years, you’ve undoubtedly been affected by the cavernous, gigantic, dick-head hotel called the Hilton.

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