A lot is being made about the Yankees winning the world series and still making some good moves to get even better. And for every Yankee action, there is an equal Red Sox reaction.
Don’t worry about the monetary disparity between the major market teams and the mid and low market teams. With all this time complaining you could have been out there, cutting their team bus’ brake lines. You could have been bribing mafia to strong-arm managers into throwing games (just think of all the money their bookies could make!). You could be lining up for autographs just waiting for the perfect time to Tanya Harding the shit out of A-Rod.
Now look…I’m not suggesting you actually do any of this stuff (touches finger to nose). In no way am I saying go out and try to harm Yankee players and coaches (winks). Just because it’s the ONLY WAY THE ORIOLES WILL WIN ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP, doesn’t mean it’s right for you to do (hands reader crow bar).
You really want to help the team? Tail Rosenthal to an interview and have the production assistant give you the water that he was planning on giving to Big Poopie and spike it with arsenic. Just kidding.
Sometimes you see something that makes you pee your pants laughing, like the scene from Billy Madison about peeing your pants turned into a Mentos commercial.
Other times something you see might make you pee your pants out of the inextricable fear that some people can drive cars or vote or procreate. Today, for me, it was the latter.
A fellow that goes by the handle of JTrea81, over at OH said something today that pushed me over the edge with that guy.
I'm not the best out of the group at photoshop.
Over the past few months he has said some outlandish things. Things that lead many to block him. Things that have him rated as public enemy # 2 (Nestor will always be # 1). His behavior even prompted an outcry by some readers to suggest that moderators have him banned for such ridiculous statements.
Today, in a thread discussing whether any more of the skeptical O’s fans trust MacPhail more after the winter meetings, he said this:
The guy has always made excellent trades for the Orioles, that is without question.
However there’s one thing he has yet to do, and that’s to land a top player that is being pursued by other competitive clubs via trade or FA.
He can build a winning team, but can he build one to compete in the AL East with the Yankees and Red Sox? The jury is still out on that one.
He made a comment tonight in his presser for the Millwood trade. He said something like “we need to forget the division we are in and just concentrate on getting better.”
Forgetting we are in the AL East is the last thing we need to do IMO. We absolutely have to keep track of Boston and New York because the playoffs go through them. We may not be at their level yet, but eventually we have to get there.
I’m not sure MacPhail can or WANTS to do what is neccessary to do that.
I’ll leave the spelling error for accuracy so you reader(s) (Hey, Ted!), who may not have seen this post on OH, can get an accurate portrayal as to just how much lunacy is involved in those statements. I’ve also taken the liberty of italicizing the crazy parts and bolding the fucking crazy part and I capitalized the word that takes the statement from fucking crazy to “I’M SPEECHLESS TO THE POINT OF SORROW” CRAZY.
Was that last thing serious, Trea?
One can argue the semantics about the Orioles place in the AL East. Are we actually a mid-market team based on income? How much do the O’s really make from MASN? Is the only way to win the AL East to act like the Yankees and Red Sox or can you go the way of the Rays?
But to question whether a general manager (who reports to the owner) wants to WIN GAMES is fucking beyond words. Winning makes money. More money than losing. If the owner’s only goal was to make money, he’d still make more money by winning.
It’s the same argument about a player not having a “winning” attitude or a team having a “culture of losing”. Players will make more money by fucking winning too!
I can’t stand the bullshit anymore from some of you, mainly Trea. You are the culture of losing. You fans who complain incessantly and only have negative things to say. You skeptical, whinny, insane douche bags.
I’m not saying blindly bow to every decision but why do you even root for or follow a team that you seem to have so much disdain for? Have you nothing better to do with your life than to sulk behind your computer and be miserable?
The Orioles will never fill the hole you have in your soul. Maybe it’s time to consider a new hobby or a new team.
I hear the Nationals are a top-notch organization and they aren’t too far away.
Well as free agency and the winter meetings draw near…we have been doing some pretty extensive research. Not research on who the organization should target but who is the mole in the organization that is picking up on all your ideas. Dooms-dayers and unrealistic super fans alike, this deviant spares no one’s well thought out, must-domoves for the offseason.
We finally unlocked a picture of this evil genius. For those of you with weak stomach’s please don’t scroll down. For those of you who want to look the devil in the eyes, by all means. I give you…Regis Stanczak.
Ehhh…Man he gives me the chills. Not only is he ripping off great trade ideas like this. He’s doing it on a fucking Commodore. Oh he’ll read this, wildbillhiccup. As soon as his dial-up connects, he’ll read it, print it, shit on it, brush it off and send it through his facsimile to Mac-attack. You know what that’s called. That’s a fax boom, bitch. Right in your face. That’s exactly what he’ll doe alright.
Congrats to Adam Jones for winning the gold glove.
Apparently there are some O’s fans who love to rain on a parade. These are the same dooms-dayers I’ve mentioned here.
Statistically, sure, he might not have deserved it. Must you be such a fucking downer all the time?
Some of you feel better when everyone rags on us and when we are the consummate underachievers. You yearn for us to start off on a blaze and then collapse at the end of the year so you can say, “I told you so.”
If there was such a thing as a losing culture (you know that thing that all you assholes complain about), it would be you fans who can’t find anything good to say about our team. You’d rather us be losers because you’re more comfortable that way.
Congrats Tex. Don’t worry about those dudes holding signs. They don’t know shit about you. You’re the man. So what if they call you a hypocrite, sell-out, soulless bastard. They’re just jealous.
All you did was play the “game”. Not baseball…the other “game”. Tell Yankee fans you were a Yankee fan. Tell O’s fans you were an O’s fan. It’s like Survivor. You have to have a strategy, man. They don’t just give the million bucks to the nicest, emaciated, dirtball. You gotta earn that shit.
And you did earn that shit. All 22.5 million. You know what you can do with that much money? You can buy shit. Tons of it. A big ass house for all your shit, too. Like all your sports equipment. Then you can buy a big ass car to haul your shit around town. You could have a 22.5 million dollar parade right through downtown Severna Park. What do you care? You still have another 157 million coming your way. That’s buy a country type money.
You can buy a country, then declare war on Severna Park. You can form a coalition of the obscenely rich with CC, AJ, Arod, and Derek. You guys can just take over the world, one small town at a time, until everyone is a Yankee fan. Send them to internment camps where they watch Yankee footage like A Clockwork Orange. If they don’t take to the “treatment” you give ‘em a frontal lobotomy. That’ll teach ‘em to question our supreme ruler, King Texiera.
You won a World Series man. You’re untouchable. You’re the man.
You have just been hired to be the Orioles GM. The 40 man roster is currently at 32 and with Jones, Uehara and Bergesen coming off the 60 day DL puts it at 35.Brandon Snyder, Brandon Erbe, Josh Bell and Steve Johnson WILL be added putting the 40 man roster at 39.
So here is the catch… You can only make 10 moves before Opening Day. You are the man, and fully backed by Peter Angelos. Money is virtually no object. What 10 moves do you make????
Are you serious!? You literally just opened up a one stop shop for Rege. It’s like fish in a fucking barrel!
I’m not sure you get the implications here. You’re brilliant ideas will be stolen and Andy will just act like they were his all along. He’s on a beach somewhere sipping a virgin strawberry daiquiri while you guys are doing all this hard work. He actually just told the cabana boy to bring him more fried shrimp. And there you are…spending hours upon hours coming up with cockamamie awesome plans…for free!
This is America people. We don’t do shit for free. Ever. Volunteer? Pssh. Pathetic.
You want communism? Move to China. You want free, hedonistic pleasure? Move to Hedonism 1. You want to live in the magical world of make-believe? You’re a loser. You want socialism? Move to Canada.
Apparently you guys were just not patient enough for us to create our full report. Those that take the warning seriously…stay tuned.
In what appears to be the most staggering information leak from an organization since Valerie Plame, the ESH have obtained classified documents from a source deep within the Orioles front office.
These documents reveal a secret position held by a Mr. Regis Stanczak. Mr. Stanczak is believed to be working very closely with Andy MacPhail this off-season to assess possible acquisitions and trade opportunities.
If what I’m reading is true, his sole job is to troll around Orioles-centric blogs, fan sites, and trade rumor sites to pillage the trade and free agent signing ideas from fans. Once he has copy and pasted an idea from say, Orioles Hangout, he puts it in an email and sends it straight to Andy MacPhail.
But it’s not Andy’s work email. It’s his fucking personal email! Don’t you see what this means?!
Andy has hired some guy to rip off all your ideas! Brilliant ideas too, like this one. Or this one. Even really long, well backed up, and not boring at all hypotheticals like this one. As if the dude doesn’t have enough to do, you want him to read all of that!? No wonder nothing gets done during the off-season.
I implore you O’s fans, until we have more time to look into this dastardly bastard, stop posting all your great fucking ideas online! Someone is actually reading them and sending them to the big boss!
As more details unfold we’ll be posting updates. Until then, stay thirsty vigilant my friends.
In what appears to be the most staggering information leak from an organization since Valerie Plame, the ESH have obtained classified documents from a source deep within the Orioles front office.
